~let's walk to HIM~

sibuk3.. hehe

2012-02-03T18:44:00.002+08:00

bismillah~

ana kira lambat sket start kalo nak compare dgn kawan2 lain yg posting sama dgn ana..basically hari isnin ni baru ana akan dapat jadual kelas..hm..akan ada form 3 yg ana kena ajar, they'll be in the set D, named 'jetfire'..i need to help them more with the language mastery i suppose, coz they're in the last set.takpe, insyaAllah, ana boleh! hehe ..mesti kena positif :p

actually ana byk nak share..baru2 ni ada team building kat SAHUT..best3.. ana blajar byk gak la..tapi one significant moment yg jadik kat ana ialah 'my first breakthrough in 2012'..hehe..details nanti la kot :p tp yg pasti the breakthrough tolong ana utk gain confidence =) thank u Allah for that, i indeed in need of it <3

ok, as the title goes..ana memang akan busy starting tomorrow..hoho..jom tgk ape ke mendanye yg ana akan sibuk sgt..hehe..tak byk mane pun, saje ngade buat2 sibuk. :P

-sabtu: merentas desa, ana jadi ajk pendaftaran utk merentas desa daerah hulu tganu ni, dgn another 2 of my colleague. nanti peringkat negeri most probably kami akan terlibat gak..sebbaik pendaftaran je kan :p
-ahad: jaga game bola jaring (pantau je) for interhouse activity utk form 4 punye minggu orientasi, pastu maybe nak join program badar kat surau after the game..
-10hb: in charge utk slot usrah/tazkirah kat surau time boys gi solat jumaat..kena cari topik best utk muslimat neh..hm..any suggestion? skrg ni ana tgh consider 'fattabiouni'
-16feb: pengacara majlis annual meeting PIBG.hoh! suara ana da la x best.sian la depa nanti (eh3..astarghfirullah! no3.. cancel ayat kat atas..i should be grateful wif wat Allah has given me, kan3 =) i shud be thankful that i can speak just like others..alhamdulillah ^________ ^ )
-17feb: merentas desa peringkat negeri
-26march: frs international symposium kat mozac.. hmm..big event ni, kena start skrg, duedate proposal is soon enuf..i mean the abstract..details? maybe next entry..kinda rushing now

ok la, till then..sorry for terrible writing style..
moga dalam rahmat Allah selalu..amin

(",)

of past tense and taik lembu

2012-01-18T17:51:00.001+08:00

bismillah
hmm..plan ana nak buat blog baru utk academic entry on my teaching profession maybe ditangguhkan dulu..coz ana rasa maybe ana patut tunggu at least a few months or maybe a year for me to be more matured in sharing the content in a more professional way..so far stakat ni ana lebih selesa share kat sini je..hehe

hm, before this ana ingat ana takkan masuk mengajar until CNY (chinese new year) break..tapi pagi tadi ana dah masuk kelas form 1, mengajar simple past tense kat budak2 tu..huhu..the earlier plan was that we; the new teachers, were expected to observe the senior teachers teaching the students in the class.. so ana cakap kat Dee; who was posted earlier a year than me, untuk observe her lesson. instead, she suggested ana take over her class. oooh, initially ana macam sgt2 tak confident.huhu..ye la, da 8 bulan tinggal sume2 ni and dok umah ngadap sinki..mesin basuh..kucing2..hehe..

but then, i keep my faith in Allah and i believe that He wants me to take this step.ye la, sampai bila lak ana nak tunggu baru betul2 prepare kan..hehe..so alhamdulillah, although i did some minor slip-of-tongue and momentarily pauses during the lesson, Dee commented that my lesson was okay, nothing much to be criticized, just that ana kena be more attentive towards students' understanding of the words used throughout the lesson..hehe..ok la tu kan.. alhamdulillah ^__________^

ok, another thing yang buat ana happy hari ni ialah ana telah drive keta ayah ana dari sekolah ana sampaaaai la ke manir..yaa, not a big deal for those who are used to driving..tapi utk ana yang da sangaaat lama tinggalkan skill memandu, ana rasa ini satu improvement utk ana..hehe..ayah dgn mak ana pun seemed to be glad to see me driving..memula ingatkan nak drive sampai umah tapi ana salah amek jalan so ayah kena take over before ana masuk jalan manir yg sibuk tu..hehe :p

so, hikmah ana dipostingkan ke kawasan hulu yang byk taik lembu dan belum dapat stay kat hostel:- ana dapat practice bawak keta..hehe..(oh! pagi tadi masa ayah ana hantar ana gi skolah ayah ana terlanggar taik lembu! ahahaha..cam bunyik belon pecah..yek :p )
ya Allah, hebat betul cara Engkau mengatur segala sesuatu.. ^_______^

ok la, till then.. assalamualaikum =)

p/s- Allah Maha Agung, dan Allah begitu mencintai hamba2Nya yang sentiasa kembali kepadaNya..so ape lagi, jom pakat2 hargai cintaNya yang besar itu dengan patuh dan taat kepadaNya.. (",)

officially, i am a teacher now

2012-01-17T21:04:00.000+08:00

bismillah
i'm planning to create a blog for my teaching journey..
will be under construction :p
we'll see how things go

bytheway,
i am posted to Sek.Men.Sains Hulu Terengganu
it's a boarding school
and like any other school, it surely offers me its own challenges

till then, assalamualaikum
(",)

another year again~

2012-01-08T16:53:00.001+08:00

bismillahirrahmanirrahim
assalamualaikum (^___^)

kaifa haluka/haluki? ana be khoirr, alhamdulillah =)
ok, entry ni ana nak wat experiment sket..oh, before that, sorry for the mixing of english and malay words..santai aja bah yaa =) oh, experiment tadi? ana nak try bahasakan diri atau gunakan pronoun 'ana' untuk ganti saya/aku/ambe etc.. :p well, kata new year, so kita wat la perubahan sket ye..hehe..baru cuba2 je ni, bcoz ana suka dgr org guna pronoun ni, and..tak salahkan kalo ana pun nak guna juge..hihi ( ^___ ^ )

ok, pasal new year..yaaa, it's another year again.rasa macam baru je semalam ana grad..[hehe, sengaja..coz ana dah agak gusar menanti tawaran posting yg belum kunjung tiba.hehe.tapi xpe, ana serahkan sume urusan pada yang Maha Mengetahui, kan3 =) ] hmm..new year ea..ape yg org slalu discuss pasal ni yek? of course la azam kan? setuju? bagusss :p

ape azam ana? ok, since it's another year, that means 'something' is definitely coming closer..ape dia? jeng3...
jodoh? hm...ana pun x pasti lg.hehe
kerja? harap2nye..tapi pun still tak pasti gak..
ada benda yg lebih pasti lagi..sangat2 pasti...

ok la..jawapannyee -----> k.e.m.a.t.i.a.n.
ape kaitan kematian dgn azam ana?
ok, azam ana: membuat persiapan demi sebuah 'kematian' yang cemerlang

eh??kematian pon ada 'cemerlang'?? ade dean list ke?? (hehe, sorry, ana wat lawak akademik jap :P )
erm, kematian pon ada levelnya..and i pray to Allah that i'll have the excellent one..
ok jap, perasan tak ada inverted comma kat perkataan kematian tadi?
actually maksud ana ialah kematian = kehidupan baru setelah kehidupan sementara di dunia ni
so dalam erti kata lain: untuk akhirat nanti, yakni kehidupan yg hakiki dan sebenar2nya utk manusia =)
jadi utk capai azam ana ni, kenalah ana byk2 ingat mati..kan3? =)

eh..kalo asyik ingat mati je..tak majulah gitu..tak buat ape2..dok sibuk tunggantunggeng solat jaaa..tak pi kije..tak makan..minum..ye la, da nak mati kan...

hehe, kalo ada yg pk gitu, harap dpt betulkan ye..
sebab dgn ingat mati, bagi org yg faham (alhamdulillah, ana pun baru je belajar) kita akan lebih berusaha utk hidup dgn lebih jayanya..reasonssss:-

1.di akhirat nanti amalan2 kita akan dihisab..and bila kita da mati da takde can dah nak balik dunia utk topup ape2 yg kurang (uuuu..takut3) sooo..dgn ingat mati, kita akan usaha sebaik mungkin utk buat amalan dgn sebaik mungkin sebab mungkin itu amal kita yg terakhir..
AND...amalan itu TAK TERHAD kepada solat sahaja.walaupon solat ialah amalan pertama seorang muslim yg akan dihisab nanti tapi byk lagi menda lain yg akan turut dipersoalkan..antaranya tanggungjawab kita sebagai seorang anak, murid, guru atau apepun profesion anda, sebgai seorang rakyat di negara anda, sebagai seorang daripada ummat nabi Muhammad s.a.w. dan banyaaaak lagi...so sume tu kena pikir, jadi takdelah insiden cam kat atas tadi berlaku.. [tak buat ape2..dok sibuk tunggantunggeng solat jaaa..tak pi kije..tak makan..minum..ye la, da nak mati kan...]

2. bila ada matlamat utk mati, kita akan lebih ingat yg dunia ni bukan segala2nya..insyaAllah

3. ingat mati = ingat janji pertemuan dgn Allah = nak usaha utk dapat menatapNYa = akan usaha lebih di dunia, insyaAllah

ok la, byk da ana bebel neh :p
erm..ini azam ana, and as a normal,typical human being ana tak dapat lari dr sifat pelupa, suka buat silap..terlalai..terleka..terlengah dan macam2 terrrr lagi..soo..kepada yg baik hati di luar sana, kalo nampak ana ni cam lupa2 je kat azam ana ni, tolong la ingat2kan..tolong tau! thank u (^_______^)

last but not least: i am always a student in this life, so never be bored to teach me or share knowledge with me, okay?

wassalam~

ada comment tak utk experiment ana ni? jgn segan2..sila2... =)

terbelenggu

2011-12-26T02:47:00.000+08:00

ya Allah...

tetapkan hati ini..

teguhkan pendirian diri ini..

untuk terus memilih melangkah kepadaMu,

mencari redhaMu

bukan hanya menurut nafsu

yang sering dan terus membelenggu

diri lemah lagi lesu

bantu daku

ya Allah....

bantu daku untuk terus mengejar impian

membina keluarga yang berpaksikan agamaMu, syariatMu, sunnah rasulMu

untuk itu aku perlu..aku mohon...

kuatkan diri ini, untuk tidak tunduk

pada nafsu yang membelenggu

yang mencarik2 impianku

hanya dengan janji palsu yang belum tentu

tolong daku..

untuk terus tegar

memilih agama

dari yang lainnya

redirecting

2011-12-07T15:35:00.001+08:00

i might have spoken more
than what is necessary
i guess it's time
for me
to listen and read more
maybe it's better for me right now

ya Rabb, allow me to be able to see, listen, and understand things
in the way that You prefer
in the way that will lead me to
and grant me
Your blissful bless

doa muslimah...

2011-12-04T16:07:00.001+08:00

Tolonglah kami ya Allah!

Tolong beritahu si dia, aku ada pesanan buatnya..

Tolong beritahu si dia, cinta agung adalah cintaNya…

Tolong beritahu si dia, cinta manusia bakal membuatnya alpa…
Tolong nasihati sia dia,jangan menyintaiku lebih dari dia menyintai Yang Maha Esa…
Tolong nasihati si dia,jangan mengingatiku lebih dari dia mengingati Yang Maha Kuasa…
Tolong nasihati si dia,jangan mendoakanku lebih dari dia mendoakan kedua ibu bapanya…
Tolong katakan pada si dia,dahulukan Allah kerana di situ ada syurga…
Tolong katakan pada si dia,dahulukan ibu bapanya kerana di telapak ibu itu syurganya…
Tolong ingatkan si dia,aku terpikat kerana imannya bukan rupanya…
Tolong ingatkan si dia,aku lebih cintakan zuhudnya bukan harta…
Tolong ingatkan si dia,aku kasihinya kerana santunnya…
Tolong tegur si dia, bila dia mulai mengagungkan cinta manusia…
Tolong tegur si dia, bila dia tenggelam dalam angan-angannya…
Tolong tegur si dia, andai nafsu mengawal fikirannya…
Tolong sedarkan si dia, aku dan dirinya milik Yang Maha Esa…
Tolong sedarkan si dia,aku masih milik keluarga…
Tolong sedarkan si dia,tanggungjawabnya besar kepada keluarganya…
Tolong sedarkan si dia,usah ucap cinta di kala cita-cita belum terlaksana…
Tolong sabarkan si dia, andai diri ini enggan dirapati kerana menjaga batasan cinta…
Tolong sabarkan si dia, bila jarak mejadi penyebab bertambah rindunya… *ya Allah, jadikanlah rindunya terhadapMu melebihi rindunya terhadap diriku yang hina.

Tolong pesan padanya, aku tidak mahu menjadi fitnah besar kepadanya…
Tolong pesan padanya, aku tak mau menjadi puncak kegagalannya…
Tolong pesan padanya,aku membiarkan Yang Esa menjaga dirinya…
Tolong khabarkan pada si dia,aku tidak mahu membuat dia terlena…
Tolong khabarkan pada si dia, jadilah pendamping dalam kejayaanku setulus hatinya..
Tolong sampaikan pada si dia, aku mendambakan cinta suci yang terjaga…
Tolong sampaikan pada si dia, cinta kerana Allah tidak ternilai harganya…
Tolong sampaikan pada si dia, hubungan ini terjaga selagi dia menjaga hubungan dengan Yang Maha Kuasa…
Tolong sampaikan kepada si dia, kerana aku tidak mampu sendiri memberitahunya

Hanya engkau Ya Allah mengetahui siapa si dia…

Moga pesananku sampai padanya walau aku sendiri tidak mengetahui siapa dan dimana si dia…

Andaidia umpama seekor lebah yang senantiasa memuji keagungan Yang MahaKuasa memasuki taman larangan dengan sopan santunnya dan bertemu mawarberduri yang terjaga oleh tuannya…

Simpanlahpesanan ku ini pada dia, aku akan terus berdoa kepadaMu YaAllah sehingga ENGKAU ketemu diriku dengan dia suatu hari nanti…

sumber dari blog ini : http://anaraudhah.blogspot.com/2011/11/tolonglah-kami-ya-allah.html

SPP interview (23rd November, 2011)

2011-11-24T11:41:00.001+08:00

bismillah

alhamdulillah, all praises be to Allah s.w.t coz He made things went smooth for the interview yesterday. [initially i was rather worried coz i didn't really prepared in details for certain subject matters which some of my colleagues have spotted for the interview.] and alhamdulillah too, many kindhearted cohort 4 friends including my classmates and cohort 4 all over the Malaysia (TESL program) have shared useful, helpful links, notes, reminders, and such. really appreciate it. alhamdulillah =)

dad and bibah, my little sister accompanied me to the interview place. mum sent me with hug and prayers. luv you all..thanks ya Rabb for such blissful happiness you gave, tho little yet meaningful.in fact, such giving is actually some piece of Your great love towards me, alhamdulillah..

i was in the same group with my classmate, faiz and another two guys from IPGM kampus batu lintang in sarawak, yet all of us are from terengganu. since i was the only girl in the group, most of the time the interviewer would ask his questions to me first. in fact it was an advantage for me. alhamdulillah again..hehe ^,^ overall, i managed to answer the given questions, though i did missed some..grin..perfection belongs solely to Allah the merciful =)

okay, so here are some of the questions he asked us/me; which i could still remember..pardon my grammar.still polishing them.grin.

1. introduce yourself in English. oh! i made kinda funny mistake here, as i was the first, i actually started to talk about myself in Malay! hehe. i said "assalamualaikum, nama saya nor farina eh!'" daa, a bit panicked yet the battle must go on. :p so i corrected myself and began to converse in English.alhamdulillah.
2. why i chose teaching English when i was actually from science stream? my reply: because i think i have more passion towards the English language.. ^_^.. [oh, reminded me to my English teachers back in school..hehe.. and i'm gonna make sure that my students will fall in love with the language too..cewaah :p]
3. next, what position were we applying for. oh, for this question i missed only one word! the answer is: pegawai perkhidmatan pendidikan siswazah DG41 - i missed out the word 'perkhidmatan'. hee.the reason for the interviewer to ask this was because logically as a person who applied for any job should by right know what position he/ she is applying for. indeed. :P
4.next: FPK (falsafah pendidikan kebangsaan) or the national philosophy of education. again, it was me again as the first one to answer and was really an advantage for me, because i just have to tell what is the fpk, word by word; and it wasn't a problem for me coz i have already memorized it.heee..alhamdulillah =D it gets tougher for the person after me when the interviewer began to ask for details about the philosophy.phew~
5.oh, the next one wasn't a good one for me.i didn't come across the word/term 'gabung-jalin' or in English: integration. i understand the concept just that i couldn't relate it to the interviewer's question. never mind.
6.after that was about teaching theory if i'm not mistaken. alhamdulillah, i was able to explain on my choice of theories well. i chose cognitivism as proposed by jean piaget and humanism theory related to the multiple intelligences theory by howard gardner; with my rationale and justification. =) --> all knowledge are from Allah. alhamdulillah i was able to learn and understand it. =)
7. then it was about RPH (rancangan pengajaran harian-the red record book for teachers) again, alhamdulillah, i got to know from the previous groups (oh, mine was the last group) that the interviewer would ask about it. he asked what should be in the rph and i was able to answer well i think.hehe.coz i just happened to have a look at my rph few days before while preparing all the necessary documents for the interview. =D
8. what else yaa..about belanjawan if i'm not mistaken. he asked us bout belanjawan and all of us were just thinking bout the 'peruntukan perbelanjaan' and stuff..and we forgot the most important thing, that is 'what are the sources for the money that to be spent??" hehe.. well.of course one should be able to identify his/her sources of income before thinking about spending it.hehe.big grin. :p and oh, he asked us whether our government's belanjawan is deficit, balanced or surplus.dang.i was puzzled.i replied deficit but i can't explain what is deficit.haha.
9.what do we read about any current issues.a boy replied SEA games and i was like, oh my! please..i don't read much on that except for watching the football match between harimau muda and the garuda team; witnessing the sweet success.apart than that= zero. luckily, we got to choose our own topics.phew. so mine was on the lifelong learning.alhamdulillah. =)

ok, i know..a lot of alhamdulillah(s) up there.hehe.ya, because i really felt grateful, for all His help.
so, never stop praying to Allah.and learn to always be grateful, and myself also is still learning to practice it.oh, and for sharing; practice this (for those who didn't know before)
- pray Rabbi yassir wala tu'assir [o God, make it easy and don't make it hard]
- pray Rabbishralli sodri, wayassirli amri, wahlul uqdatan min lisani yafqohu qouli (i think many are familiar with this dua') [ya Allah lapangkan dadaku, permudahkan urusanku, dan leraikan simpulan di lidahku serta lancarkan pertuturanku]
-recite surah alam nasyrah

(^,^)

so, hope to hear good result soon.preparation and interview done.now, tawakkal upon Allah.
for those who will be interviewed tomorrow, all the best of luck, and my prayers for all of you.
have a good day.

(",)

nota cinta-saujana

2011-11-19T13:42:00.001+08:00

andainya, dapatku menulis nota-nota cinta buat diriNya

inginku titipkan bersama semua kuntuman bunga yang indah berseri

ku sembur haruman mewangi bersama kata-kata puji

sedang Dia tahu kasih dan cintanya aku

menjalin ikatan menuju ke syurga

cintaku kepada Dia* rinduku hanya padaNya*kasihku tulus buatNya

setiaku balas kasihNya*kasihku kasih yang setia*pada Yang Punya

dambaku pada Yang Esa*pujian hanya buatNya

akurku kebesaranNya*teragung Maha SuciNya

taatku hamba yang hina...pada Pencipta

kiranya aku hilang arah, jalan hidupku berubah punah

namun kasihNya tak pernah akan musnah

belas rahmatNya terus mencurah-curah

nur hidayahNya semakin cerah....

Jawablah

2011-11-09T16:11:00.000+08:00

sudah cukupkah?
amalan yang mungkin dibawa
ibadah yang akan dipersembahkan
kebajikan yang akan dibentangkan

yakinkah?
kalau amalan, ibadah, kebajikan itu
diterima semuanya
dan tidak ditolak olehNYA

sehingga kau berani
untuk merasa malas dan lengah??!

lupakah?
masamu kian suntuk, singkat, sempit
lupakah?
sekecil apa perbuatan itu, tetap dilihat Sang Pencipta?!

ya benar, Allah itu Maha Pengasih,
penuh rahmat dan kasih
tapi apakah kau layak untuk menagih
jika ketaatan kepadaNya tidak kau pilih?

jalan kembali kepadaNya
sentiasa terbuka lebar, seluasnya
bijaklah dalam mngatur langkah
agar kembali kepada redha Allah

~let's walk to him

entri panjang.. kalau rajin bacala.. :p

2011-11-08T14:40:00.002+08:00

bismillah

i'm 23years old and still single

not having a husband nor a boyfriend

reason? because Allah has arranged so..

ok, typical answer :p

p/s=boyfriend or couple is not allowed in islam ya (^,^)

(switch code: code mixing)

actually before this, all the while during my teenage life, my biggest dream is to become isteri solehah yang dicintai suaminya sepenuh hati (ceewah).. and [please don't be surprised] this dream was the major dream of mine at the time..pelik kan..org lain maybe ada yg berangan nak achieve something in career or professional achievement..nak keja best..nak jadi kaya..nak jadi menteri ka, doktor ka..pape lah.. tapi saya..mencari kunci syurga dalam redha suami (waah, ayat~) alahai, zaman remaja :p

and previously, i had put up a high hope that me and a person i chose (at that time) would be able to seek for Allah's bless and that we would be united and become sakinah, mawaddah, warrahmah family and seek for jannah.. nonetheless, i was actually receiving a lesson from God about love; through that sinful sweet-bitter experience =( , hm.. i learnt that

one should find Allah's love first; on top of everything
love between non-muhrim/ajnabees should occur only between husband & wife
Allah has decided our soul mate who suits us in HIS judgement
manusia hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan,
redha Allah mesti didahulukan daripada kehendak dan kemahuan diri, kerna apa yang diredhai Allah sudah semestinya yang terbaik dunia dan akhirat tapi kemahuan serta kehendak diri belum tentu apa yang diredhai Allah..

(and more actually) --> i am totally grateful for everything that happened because it shows that Allah is guiding me in His way..

so, back to my teenage dream (^,^) it is still the same, yet it is not the major dream for now
sebab2nye?

i realized that to achieve Allah's bless is not solely through marriage..maksudnya, ada hal yang lebih penting yang perlu dicapai..dicari..untuk mendapatkan redha Allah..seeking for mardhatiLLAh..
mungkin jiwa remaja..perkahwinan yang merupakan penyatuan dua insan berlainan jantina secara halal dan jika dilaksanakan berlandaskan syariah bakal membawa rahmat Allah menyebabkan ianya menjadi suatu matlamat yang sangat best utk dicapai berbanding hal2 lain (dalam fikiran seorg remaja masa tu..huhu..)
perspektif hidup da berubah setelah ilmu diisi dalam dada (antara contoh kepentingan ilmu ye kawan2..)

oh, nak share jap, pasal ilmu tu..sy ada baca yang Allah dah menentukan semuanya utk hambanya (ingat tak qada' and qadar.. ^^, ) it's written that we don't have to be too troubled with the end result, cukup dengan berusaha semampu kita, dan yakinlah bahawa Allah akan membuka jalannya bagi kita..ingat, key point nya ialah usaha yang terbaik, dan berserah kepada Allah. =)

ish2..bila baca balik entri ni cam da pening pulak..huhu

ok la..yang nak di highlightkan di sini sebenarnye ada beberapa perkara..

buat masa sekarang perkahwinan bukanlah keutamaan saya kerana banyak hal yang perlu diuruskan terlebih dahulu..tapi...

bukanlah saya say NO to marriage..so jangan salah faham ye :P
ini semua tertakluk kepada apa yang ditentukan dan ditetapkan Allah

mungkin jodoh sy belum sampai kerana (macam dlm satu dialog hasil karya Habiburrahman elShirazy yg sy tgk baru2 ni) Allah masih memberi saya peluang untuk memperbaiki diri saya

ok, context memperbaiki diri ni luas, tapi antara yang utamanya ialah dari aspek agama..personaliti..kehidupan.. (hm..byk ni nak kena improve..hehe)

saya masih mencari calon yang sesuai untuk menjadi ayah kepada anak2 saya kelak (jika Allah mengizinkan) supaya anak2 sy dapat menerima didikan agama langsung daripada ayahnya, bukannya dipindahkan tanggungjawab itu sepenuhnya kepada ustaz atau sekolah/sekolah agama SAHAJA.. dan lebih penting lagi supaya kami saling membantu utk menuju redha Allah..

hm..nak ulas sket yg point nombor 3 tu..
wanita yg baik utk lelaki yg baik dan sebaliknya.. bila tengok kelemahan diri, aduhai...
masih adakah peluang utk sy dapat seorg jodoh yg baik? isk..

saya tau saya x perfect..saya tau masih banyak kekurangan diri saya..
jadi..adakah saya tidak mungkin dijodohkan dengan lelaki seperti yg sy impikan?

tapi....
saya tau, hanya Allah yang sempurna,
tiada apa yang perlu saya risaukan jika saya bersandar sepenuhnya kepada Allah,
dan jika Allah mengehendaki, tiada apa yang mustahil untuk berlaku..

jadi....
untuk masa ni, saya mesti berusaha sepenuh daya dan upaya untuk memperbaiki diri..
untuk kembali ke landasan yang benar..
dan mengutamakan Allah dalam apa pun perkara..

kerana saya yakin..Allah telah merencanakan sesuatu yang terbaik untuk saya..
jadi saya mesti mempersiapkan diri untuk menerima apa yang telah Allah tetapkan untuk saya..

what really matters is the life at ukhrawi..

dunia hanya jalan menuju ke sana..

dan untuk menempuhi jalan ini, selaku insan yang lemah, saya masih tetap memerlukan pendamping...

dan pintaku ya Allah,

kurniakanlah daku pendamping

yang terbaik bagiku, menurutMu..

agar kami saling mendukung dan menguatkan

untuk meneruskan langkah

menuju redha MU...

ya Rabb..

buat teman di luar sana..doakan yang terbaik untuk diriku,

moga yang terbaik jugalah buat kalian..

amin, ya Rabbal 'alamin..

(",)

because...

2011-11-07T00:16:00.001+08:00

because you are His...

because you've made a promise

the forgotten promise (you said it is)

because you are going to pay

for all the deeds or sins you did

and on that day

there will be no delay

because that is what He said..

BECAUSE YOU ARE CREATED NOT FOR NOTHING

BECAUSE YOU ARE CREATED AS THE 'KHALIFAH' on this temporary stage called duniaa

BECAUSE YOU WILL BE ASKED for everything you did, at the day of justice; the day of TRUTH

and that is why..

you must watch your step..

in every single/double/triple step(s) you take

in every single breath you made

rasai nikmat bersyukur =)

2011-10-29T12:38:00.003+08:00

saya amat gembira kebelakangan ini

banyak benda yang buatkan saya begitu gembira..mungkin juga bahagia

sumber kebahagiaan saya?

bila saya memutuskan untuk membuka mata, telinga dan hati saya

mendengar bisikan2 keimanan di jiwa,

telusan2 cinta di hati

dan meneliti keagungan pencipta semesta alam,yakni Ilahi

dalam setiap perkara yang terjadi

pada diri ini..

kerna setelah diteliti,

nyatalah..tiada yang sia2 di balik tiap tangisan, sendu,

tawa mahupun duka dan dosa

bagi tiap hal yang berlaku pada diri saya

cuma hati ini sahaja yang terlupa akan kekuasaan bersyukur..

bersyukur kepada yang MAHA MEMBERI, MAHA MEMELIHARA, dan

YANG MAHA MENCINTAI..penuh dan kaya dengan cinta dan kasih sayang..

alhamdulillahi Rabbil 'alamin..

madrasah ramadan

2011-08-22T13:46:00.005+08:00

bismillah

alhamdulillah, tahun ni dengan rahmat dan izin Allah, sy masih dpt bertemu dgn ramadan sekali lagi..satu peluang yang tak ternilai harganya.

benarlah, ramadan ini seperti satu madrasah, dan alhamdulillah, byk juga yg sy belajar dari madrasah ramadan kali ni..sekadar utk perkongsian:

-jangan terlupa utk berbakti kepada ibu bapa meskipun dalam sibuk beribadah kepada Allah..kerna redha Allah di dalam redha ibu bapa..sementara masih sempat bersama mereka, gunakan kesempatan itu sebaik mungkin..

-sentiasa ingatkan diri utk perbetulkan niat. lillahi taa'la sewajarnya ada dalam hati, dalam apa jua tindakan yg kita lakukan..sentiasa mengharapkan kebaikan, semoga kebaikanlah yang datang..insyaAllah

-walau setinggi mana ilmu, jangan pernah merasa angkuh dan tinggi diri daripada orang lain, walau siapa pun dia, tak kira usia, status dll. seorang makcik tua di kampung yang tiada ijazah mungkin saja lebih mulia dek usianya yang mungkin sudah lebih banyak dipenuhi dgn kebaikan dan kebajikan dibandingkan dengan diri kita.. wallahualam

-nafsu harus dilawan! mengalah dan tunduk kepada nafsu dan kelemahan diri adalah suatu kebodohan kerana mengundang kehancuran kepada diri sendiri. tapi andai kita khilaf, jangan berlengah utk memohon ampunanNya

inilah sedikit sebnyak yang dipelajari daripada madrasah ramadan kali ini.segala nasihat dituju kepada diri sy and sekadar utk berkongsi cuma sedikit dengan sesiapa yg sudi singgah di blog ini.Segala puji dan syukur kepada Allah kerana ternyata diri masih diberi jalan ke arah cahaya dan bukan kegelapan =')

prasangka

2011-07-04T22:38:00.003+08:00

saya ada satu masalah..siapa boleh tolong saya?
camni.. saya ni ada satu habit yang entah sejak bila melekat kat minda saya ni..
saya sangat mudah berprasangka buruk, walaupun untuk benda2 kecil..
kawan saya kata saya ni sangat sensitif.. sensitif yang negatif..

camane ye, nak betulkan pemikiran ni,
supaya saya sentiasa bersangka baik dengan orang, dengan keadaan.. dll..
sape-sape yang ada cara nak atasi, silalah kongsi..

jasa baik anda sangat dihargai..insyaAllah =)

in awaken phase~~~~~~

2011-07-01T01:55:00.004+08:00

terkejut. tak sangka.
serious ke??? is it for real?

i'm speechless..and can't really sort out my thinking..
everything seems to be meaninglessss

guess i can throw away everything related to the person now.
guess it is a wake up call for me
guess it is an indicator or reminder for me to check on myself, my relationship with the Creator

guess it is true, that i can keep a hope for years..but for nothing. well, my mistake.

yet, i pray that their wedding would be blessed.amin.insyaAllah
yes, i am a muslim who believes that Allah has arranged everything for HIs creation, including their life partner.
and i believe, i will be fine. i should be fine.
there shouldn't be any tears.

alhamdulillah

2011-05-21T15:16:00.002+08:00

after 6 years.. a lot has happenned..
but one thing for sure, nothing can happen without Allah's will
and whatever, however things has happened to me, i am just grateful, for i believe He has arranged the best for me.

once i regretted for leaving behind the science stream at matrix and for deciding to enter the teaching profession, yet it doesn't really matters now (besides, the decision was made with His signs too.. so things would be fine, insyaAllah)

and today, i checked my final results.
i just can't stop feeling blessed.. feeling thankful
to Allah
to my parents
to my friends
to my lecturers

well, for some people such academic stuff does not matter much
but for me, it does
because these things have been done in HIs name,
and once it shows the result, i just can't deny the blissful feeling.

alhamdulillah, all praise due to Allah, the Lord =)

update..update..

2011-05-19T12:27:00.008+08:00

okay..currently reporting from kg. Kepong, Kuala Terengganu..

* 6 years of B.ed TESL study has officially ended and i'm home after a long period of being away from house.. yup, it really feels good to be home.. (",)
* waiting for KISSM (kursus sistem saraan Malaysia) which is most probably be held somewhere around June
* right now doing necessary household chores as my sister (k.Cah)'s wedding is getting closer..this 4th June.. some renovation has been done at home.. [quite some changes happened, after 3 months i left home and stayed at IPSAH]
* graduation and convocation supposedly be held around July
* posting?? some rumors said our batch would be sent to schools by 1st June.. but i really hope it is really only rumors..huhu.. (am i ready to go out and teach? wallahualam.. but i better be..hihi)

oh ya.. this morning, i received my first lucky draw present.. i mean hamper. as i can remember, if there is any lucky draw, i'm not the one with the luck..meaning my number never ever been called in any lucky draw..not at school..ipsah..upsi..anywhere.. but today, i got it..there was a program organised by the Klinik Kesihatan at our place, for women.. to raise awareness about cancer.. breast cancer and kanser pangkal rahim (servic cancer, is it? not sure..) quite some useful information i got from the talk. if i've some time i'll share it in my blog, insyaAllah.. =) oh, back to the lucky draw. so the organiser prepared some hampers for those who attended the program and i'm one of the lucky person. number 61. =) oh, the doctor prefers to use the term 'cabutan rezeki', which means 'rezeki saya pagi tu dapat hadiah yang diberikan..'

oh..and yesterday we celebrated mum's 54th birthday at secret recipe.. thanks for everything mum..may you'll always be under Allah's bless and guide.amin.

ok, that's all for now.till then. assalam~

p/s: sorry for any grammatical mistakes..quite in a hurry

final battle of the students' life

2011-04-12T15:10:00.011+08:00

it has been a while..
it has been 4 months of the final semester..
i attended the last class for two subjects of the semester in this morning
oh, prior to that..all assignments had been handed in, in fact the carry marks has already been keyed in, at the upsi portal.

ooh, and the biggest thing of the semester (i supposed).. the project paper was submitted on 7th April of 2011.. congratulations to myself and to all dearest cohort 4 members who have made it till the last..

one fact that can't be challenged; all of these can't be made true without Allah's will. Allah is the one who has made the path easy for us, or if it is hard, surely He has made it in such way for some beneficial reasons to us. insyaAllah.

so now here comes the final battle. the final examination of the final semester. before the mark of the end comes. before everything being a part of history of the so called 'students' life' (ooh..tears need to be kept till the end...not now..not yet.. :p )

exam is a common thing for each and every semester [except for previous semester as we only had practicum and one subject of linking theory to practice].. yet this final exam seems a lot different to me. i am not fully and totally motivated to get myself prepared for it. such a disastrous attitude. i know. uh~ i need to quickly get the remedy for this. i can't let this to continue. erm... is it because i felt comfy enough with my current PNGK? duh. i can't deny that. or is it because i already feel like it's almost the end so no need for worry or hurry? or is it just myself getting lazy and lazier as i grow old and older??!

whatever reasons i may have listed, i need to remind myself that islam does not favor such attitude. laziness is not a suitable trait for a muslim. plus, there is du'a for preventing one from becoming a lazy person. SO FARINA.. PLEASE SHAVE OFF LAZINESS FROM THE DICTIONARY OF YOUR LIFE AND GET STARTED WITH THE EXAM PREPARATION!!

oh, another reminder: betulkan niat supaya amalan diterima. jom cari redha Allah. kalau tak, sia2 lah penat lelah dalam segala hal.. betul tak? jom3...

p/s: i love cendol. let's have nice icy cendol.. hihi..

touch and go

2011-03-13T08:30:00.004+08:00

assalamualaikum..
lama sungguh tak update blog.
terlalu banyak kerja?
banyak kali dah nak update tapi line selalu lambat..dah taip separuh jalan, lepas tu offline.
sigh. banyak dah entry tertunggak.
ok lah, ni pun tak dapat singgah lama.
as the title suggests: touch and go.

just few things:

-> whatever condition you are in, please remember to stay positive and think positive, especially towards Allah azzawajalla

->life can't always be as how you want it to be, no matter how careful you've planned on it. because Allah decides everything. but believe that what He decides, is the BEST for you. =)

(basically, these are based on my current situation. pray that i can stay positive and be extra-hardworking and with extra-effort to seek for mardhatiLLAh..)

assalamualaikum.. have a nice and blessed day...insyaAllah ('',)

first re-post : siapa mencari dia yang jumpa~

2011-02-05T10:46:00.004+08:00

* sebuah analogi, diambil dari suatu mesej yg dikirim pada sy..so x dpt nk quote siapakah authornya.. *

> SATU PENJELASAN TERBAIK KENAPA ALLAH MEMBERI KESAKITAN DAN PENDERITAAN SEPERTI YG TELAH KITA LIHAT.

ADA SEORANG LELAKI PERGI KE KEDAI GUNTING RAMBUT UTK MENGGUNTING RAMBUT DAN JANGGUTNYA. APABILA BARBER ITU MEMULAKAN TUGASNYA, MEREKA PUN BERBORAK DAN BERCAKAP MENGENAI BYK PERKARA.TAPI BILA MEREKA MULA BERBICARA MENGENAI ALLAH, TIMBULLAH PERBUALAN INI:

B: SAYA TAK PERCAYA ALLAH ITU WUJUD.

L: KENAPA KAMU KATA BEGITU?

B: CUBA KAMU KELUAR DI TGH JLN ITU DAN TUNJUKKAN PD SAYA BAHAWA ALLAH ITU WUJUD. KALAU BETUL ALLAH WUJUD,KENAPA RAMAI SGT ORG SAKIT KAT LUAR TU?KENAPA MASIH ADA KANAK2 YG TERBIAR? KALAU BETUL ALLAH WUJUD,DAH TENTU TIADA KESAKITAN DAN KEPERITAN HIDUP DLM DUNIA NI. SAYA X DPT BAYANG KAN ALLAH YG MAHA PENY AYANG BOLEH MEMBENARKAN SEMUA INI BERLAKU.

SI LELAKI ITU PUN BERFIKIR SEJENAK. TAPI DIA TIDAK MEMBERI SEBARANG JAWAPAN KERANA TIDAK MAHU MEMULAKAN PERTENGKARAN. SELEPAS BARBER ITU MENGHABISKAN TUGASNYA, SI LELAKI TADI PUN PERGI. SELEPAS BEBERAPA LANGKAH,SI LELAKI TADI TERNAMPAK SEORG LELAKI BERAMBUT PANJANG,SELEKEH, KOTOR DAN JANGGUT TIDAK TERURUS. SI LELAKI TADI PUN BERPATAH BALIK DAN PERGI SEMULA KE KEDAI GUNTING RAMBUT TADI

L: KAMU TAHU TAK YG SBNRNYE BARBER JGK TIDAK WUJUD?

B: KENAPA KAMU KATA MCM TU? SEDANGKAN SAYA BARU SAJE GUNTING RAMBUT KAMU TADI.

L: TIDAK! KALAU BARBER WUJUD, DAH TENTU TIDAK ADA ORG YG BERAMBUT PANJANG TIDAK TERURUS DAN KOTOR SERTA JANGGUT YG PANJANG DAN KOTOR MCM LELAKI DI TEPI JALAN ITU!

B: BARBER MMG WUJUD! LELAKI TU JADI MCM TU SBB DIA TIDAK DTG PADA SAYA UTK MENGGUNTING RAMBUTNYE!.

L: TEPAT SEKALI! THATS THE POINT!. ALLAH JGK WUJUD. ITULAH YG TERJADI(KEPERITAN&PENDERITAAN) JIKA MANUSIA TIDAK MENGINGATINYA DAN KEMBALI PADANYA UTK MEMOHON PERTOLONGAN…

older posts in older blog..

2011-02-05T08:00:00.001+08:00

i googled 'folyxh' out of curiosity and it lead me to my old blog at friendster.found few interesting articles. soon to be copy pasted here =)

roller coaster~

2011-02-04T23:07:00.003+08:00

istiqamah seems so hard.
being honest to self and being ikhlas to HIM seems like impossible at times..

it's all depend on d niat..ur nawaitu..
simple says but takes a lot to be practiced.

ya Rabb, i turn to You, for every little thing ever happen in my life..
ya Rabb, help me to perform for the sake of Your bless, not for any other reason..

:'(

to childish girl...

2011-01-19T20:40:00.006+08:00

i love you..
you love me..
we are happy friends should be..
with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you..
won't you say you love me too?

my child,
spread the love out of sincerity
and never expect to get something in return..
only then you'll understand the true power of love

my child,
people show their love
in their very own personal way
so never ever jump to judgment
with your narrow minded mind..

my child,
if you really want to seek for eternal happiness,
remember that the true love is only from HIM..
as you seek for His bless
on top of anything in the world..

my child,
if ever you feel not loved by anyone,
remember, that's the dirty whisper
by the Satan..who never rest at peace
until your heart is filled with suspicious and hate
instead of love and peace

so my child..
keep the heart calm and the mind wise
before you decide to believe what you think
as what you think, might not be what it really is..

roda-roda kehidupan terus berputar

2011-01-17T17:08:00.007+08:00

(sekarang ni kecenderungan untuk menulis blog dalam bahasa Melayu lebih tinggi..tapi ada gak campur2..hehe..ikut sedap hati la ye.. =D )

sebelum ni, first official meeting dgn supervisor untuk project paper for this final sem sangat menghambat hati..memang agak tidak enak untuk dikongsi..tapi yang pasti, sgt membebankan fikiran dan perasaan masa tu..sebab utama: takde topik! bygkan tekanannye bila room-mate sendiri da mula buat chapter 1,2,3 tapi kita lak terkial2 nak decide ape nak buat.SIGh~memang rasa cam dunia gelap sekejap lepas jumpa supervisor..mula la rasa menyesal teramat sangat sebab da SANGAT WASTE TIME masa sem lepas..tu la, sibuk sangat dengan korean fever..(regret...)

fitrah manusia..da kat jalan buntu..da rasa dunia gelap..barula teringat tuhan (malunya..)

Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang.

Bukankah Kami telah melapangkan dadamu (Muhammad)?* dan Kami pun telah menurunkan bebanmu darimu* yang memberatkan punggungmu * dan Kami tinggikan sebutan(nama)mu bagimu. * Maka sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan, * Sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan * Maka apabila engkau telah selesai (dari sesuatu urusan), tetaplah bekerja keras (untuk urusan yang lain) , * dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah engkau berharap.

Surah ASy-SyaRH (1-8)

SubhanAllah..benarlah kata2Nya..dan janji2Nya..
antara sifat Allah taala ialah arRahim..Maha Penyayang..kasih dan sayangNya melebihi keseluruhan kasih ibu2 di dunia ini..

alhamduliLLAh..ada jalan keluar utk saya..
alhamdulilLah, saya dah ada arah utk project paper saya..
alhamduliLLah, puji dan syukur bagi Allah yang memudahkan

oh..tapi..saya TAK BOLEH LEKA.. (ye, selalunya bila diuji dengan kesenangan, saya sangat mudah hanyut..hukhuk =S )
macam lagu kumpulan The Zikr

"..kesenangan yang datang, tak akan selamanya

begitulah selepas susah ada kesenangan..

seperti selepas malam, datangnya siang,

oleh itu WAKTU SENANG JANGAN LUPA DARATAN
gunakan kesempatan untuk kebaikan
sebelum segalanya terlepas dari genggaman
kelak MENYESAL nanti tak berkesudahan
apa gunanya sesalan, hanya menekan jiwa...."

full lyric

cinta dan mencintai?

2011-01-15T11:47:00.005+08:00

+ kenapa kau tak terima dia?

= terima? maksudnya? dia ada lamar aku ke? (tertawa)

+ takde la..bukan dia suka kat kau ke? kau tak suka ke kat dia?

= jap..jap.. ada bukti ke dia suka kat aku? ke kau je yg pandai2..hmmm..

+ laaa, yang dulu tu..kau pun tau kan..

= saudari...itu cerita lama..mungkin da expired..takkan la da emm...(berfikir dan mengira) haa, takkanla da 2 tahun cerita masih sama dan takde perubahan..kan, kan?

+ eeehh..sape tau..kalau cerita memang masih sama camane? haaa.. (muka habis nakal/gatal)

= (tertawa) ada bukti? kita tak boleh bersandar kpd sesuatu yang tak pasti..betul tak? lagipun.. banyak benda kena pertimbangkan dalam hal ni..

+ ok la, tapi last question.. kalau betul la dia memang masih suka kau, so macam mana???

= (terdiam.. berfikir~ )

dulu aku memang pernah memilih cinta..tapi rupanya aku silap..itu bukan cinta yang sebenar2nya..kerna kerakusan nafsu, aku telah mencemari erti cinta yang suci..cinta yang mulia kurniaan pencipta yang Maha Mencintai.. apa yang ku sangkakan cinta itu tidak lebih dari tipu daya makhluk licik, yang akhirnya mencambahkan tunas2 dosa.. mujurlah, akarnya telah dicantas sebelum menular dan lebih mencengkam hati.. (puji dan syukur kepada Allah)

persoalannya kini..apa yang akan jadi pilihan aku?..pilihan hati tak selalunya tepat..kebahagiaan yang dirasa bukan hakiki..sementara dan menyeksa akhirnya..menyeksa bukan di sini sahaja tapi mungkin 'di sana' juga (ampunkan dosaku ya Allah)
pilihan akal? menganalisa dan menguji dengan mata kasar dan ilmu..mungkin tepat untuk detik itu tapi siapa tahu rahsia tentang masa depan selain Allah? bukankah manusia tidak terlepas dari perubahan? bezanya cuma perubahan ke arah yang positif atau yang negatif..
jadi? ku memilih pilihan dari Dia.Dia yang akan menentukan pilihan yang terbaik bagiku..orang itu mungkin bukan lelaki yang terbaik/terhebat tapi pasti dia lah yang sempurna untukku..

bukankah kesempurnaan itu milik Allah? dan bagi manusia, hanya Rasulullah s.a.w yang hampir kepada kesempurnaan..

dan..bukankah seseorang itu akan sempurna pada pandangan insan yang mencintainya? kerna itulah kuasa cinta suci yang kunyatakan tadi..(dengan izin Allah, pastinya).. =)

kini aku memilih untuk menerima insan yang mencintaiku..kerna dengan menghargai cinta, pasti bahagia bertandang..amin~ [dengan syarat cinta itu berlandas dan bertujuan mencari keredhaan Allah]

final year..final sem..finally!

2011-01-01T08:21:00.004+08:00

okeh, it might sound nice to know i'll be ending my 6 years course soon

yet...
the final fight is such a scary thing to think rite now.huhu..

why? first of all, the project paper a.k.a the thesis!! (which in fact i've put -1 preparation for it.dang.must catch up fast before it's too late..)
not enuf with dat, i'll be having other four subjects/courses as well..uuuuh~

errr..excuse me, cik farina..what's up with such negative attitude at the beginning of a new year???

whooopss.. =P

hey, it's 1st january 2011! happy new year everyone.
so let's mark this new year with great hope and positive determination..
and not to forget, the true battle must continue.. if possible, this year, let's run to HIM!! =)

ya Rabb, may it's still not too late for us to be grateful to Your blessings and for us to be good servant of Yours.. and good follower of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w..amin~

lastly, best wishes to all..for the year of 2011.

with luv, farina

missing something

2010-11-02T21:49:00.003+08:00

they are cute..naughty..at times made me angry yet made me smile by the next seconds..

boys and girls.. i miss u guys..

-study well..achieve your dream of life..

dedicated to 1A2 and 1A5 students of SMK Ibrahim, Sg. Petani

7 checkpoints di titian sirat

2010-08-27T15:56:00.005+08:00

malam tadi ikut kawan pergi tarawih kat masjid luar, first time nak cuba masjid ni.selalu kalau lalu, tengok je.cantik..macam rumah..macam muzium..tak nampak macam masjid sangat.macam best je kalau jemaah kat sini.alhamdulillah, malam tadi ada kelapangan untuk ziarah salah satu rumah Allah di bumi ni. (hm, mesti cuba rajin2kan diri untuk ziarah tau.tak seronok ke jadi tetamu Allah? =) ) sampai2 je, subhanAllah..speaker mengalunkan azan.bergema hingga ke tangkai hati.latar belakang pulak ada bulan penuh yang bercahaya, macam berlian tergantung kat langit.cuaca redup.timbul suatu perasaan yang nyaman.terfikir dalam hati, (entah, tiba2 je muncul) macam mana suasana di Mekah? yang dah pernah ziarah Mekah mesti dapat bayangkan.(doakanlah untuk giliran saya pulak ye).

sebab dah azan, cepat2 melangkah ke ruang solat.rupanya bukan kat luar je cantik, kat dalam pun cantik.karpet, hiasan kayu, susunan Quran.best2.tarawih 8 rakaat, witir 3 rakaat. lepas tu ada tazkirah. haa, ni baru nk sentuh pasal tajuk entri ni. nama ustaz tu saya taktau.nak check kat jadual masjid, tak jumpa pulak.tapi tazkirah dia seronok.tak mengantuk sebab cara penyampaian dia yang simple, ada jokes n contoh2 yg diberi sangat relevan dengan kita.

okay, pasal titian sirat tu..ustaz bagitau ada 7 checkpoints yang perlu dilalui semasa melintas titian sirat tu.. setiap checkpoint itu akan bertanyakan sesuatu dari kita. dan 7 perkara yang akan ditanya pada setiap checkpoint itu ialah: (semua ni yang dapat saya ingat dari apa yang ustaz tu sampaikan la ye. banyak lagi yang dia cerita tapi tak dapat ingat semua)

tentang iman kita - "gemuk ke, kurus ke iman kita"...dan iman manusia sangat tidak konsisten; ada turun naik, banyak kepada turun, naik sikit je.jadi kena la subur2kan iman.antara caranya ialah dengan menghadiri majlis2 ilmu, datang ke masjid..
tentang solat - cukup tak? kalau cukup, sempurnakah? ingatlah, jangan pernah berhenti belajar tentang solat.mungkin kita dah solat berpuluh2 tahun tapi pasti ke solat itu betul? contoh yg ustaz tu bagi ialah pasal sujud. ada yang tak kena dahi la, lutut tak letak betul, jari2 kaki tak dilipat ke arah kiblat..7 anggota sujud wajib kena pada tempat sujud.kalau yang tak tau tu, lepas ni ubahla ye =)
soal zakat - yang ni, ustaz kata kalau tak tau, boleh tanya pegawai2 zakat, insyaAllah mereka boleh terangkan.
tentang puasa kita - macam mana puasa kita? sekadar berlapar atau mengharapkan keredhaan Allah? oh, satu yang ustaz bagitau tentang bulan puasa, kita rasa sekejap je masa berlalu. tengok2 hari ni dah hari ke 17 puasa.sangat cepat kan? dah nak masuk 10 malam ke-2 dan ke-3. part ni ada joke ustaz buat.kalau kat mekah, malam2 terakhir jalan akan sesak teruk, sebab semua orang keluar dengan family nk pergi masjid.semua nak cari al-Qadar (malam lailatulQadar). kat Malaysia pun akan jem jugak.tapi bukan cari alQdar, cari alKamdar (hehehe).tak salah nk pergi..boleh je. shopping lah kat mana pun.tapi jangan sampai tergadai berkat dan tawaran Ramadhan ye =)
soal umrah dan haji - kepada mereka yang dah ada rezeki untuk pergi umrah dan haji, alhamdulillah..tapi ada reminder jugak.betul tak niat tu? hmm...
mandi janabah- (ya Allah, masa dengar ni, sangat risau..moga Dia ampunkan jika ada yang kurang atau yang tak sempurna) ustaz bagi reminder, especially untuk ibu2..perhatikan anak2 dara masing2..make sure mereka tahu tentang mandi wajib setelah habis haid. tapi mandi janabah ni bukan fokus kat perempuan je.yang lelaki pun kena jaga juga.
hubungan dengan manusia (ada 3 pecahan)

hubungan kita dgn ibu bapa --> satu yg ustaz pesan kena ambil berat: bila ibu bapa menyuarakan keinginan ke atas sesuatu terhadap kita wajib kita penuhi.contoh, mak ngidam nk makan something, dia bagitau kita..walaupun mak kita boleh beli sendiri, duit banyak ke ape ke..kita wajib/mesti usahakan jugak untuk bagi dia..kalau ayah kata teringin nk pakai jubah macam ni, macam tu..usahakan supaya keinginan ayah tu tercapai. meskipun kita fikir dalam hati "alah ayah ni, macam la tak boleh pergi beli sendiri..."

hubungan silaturrahim sesama manusia --> dengan adik beradik pun berisiko tau.so kena hati2 dalam bab ni (dan semua2 perkara yg lain jugak)

adakah kita pernah menzalimi orang lain --> kalau kita zalim, buatlah amalan banyak mana pun, semua akan dicabut dan diberi kepada orang yang pernah kita zalimi.jadi amalan kita tinggal kosong.so, kalau diberi amanah sebagai ketua terutamanya..berhati2 la.jangan sampai kita jadi pemimpin yang zalim

beware ye.kalau sangkut kat mana2 checkpoint kat atas ni, neraka la jawabnye.sebab titian sirat tu di atas mulut neraka. sanggupkah nak rasa otak mendidih, tekak perit dan terseksa dengan logam cair yang menggelegak? na'uzubillah~

** bulan Ramadhan ni malaikat seolah2 sangat dekat dengan bibir, segala yang terucap pasti diaminkan.jadi jom banyak2 berdoa. semoga amalan Ramadhan diterima dan dosa2 diampunkan.amin2 ya rabbal alamin.

ramadhan oh ramadhan

2010-08-11T11:12:00.004+08:00

to all muslims, i would like to wish happy fasting. erm, a few reminders to share, for myself as well

*let's be more cautious of our sight, our speech, our doings, and our hearing, may all be kept away from things which may degrade d value of our fasting,

*be patient wif whatever may come during this fasting month, as it may be a mehnah from Him (Rabb's own way of teaching us) and may we become one of d as-sobirin..amin,

*top up extra extra EXTRa LARGE on our ibadah.every single thing counts.recite d Quranul Kareem more, praise HIM always..subhanaLlah, alHamduliLlah, Allahuakbar..Lailaha ilLaLlah..and not to forget our dearest blessed prophet Muhammad s.a.w

hmm..gotta rush for my laundry..anyone, mind to add more? that's most welcome =)

may dis Ramadhan brings us closer to HIm, eternally.amin

again, salam ramadhan al-mubarak to you

stop grumbling, instead, say "thank you Allah"

2010-08-04T16:27:00.007+08:00

if ever i am rich, if only i am born rich..

-i can have my own printer and need not to depend on others

-i can have my own transport and go back to my hometown by myself to visit my family when they're having troubles..and i need not to hitchhike to go to SMK Ibrahim

-i can have more collection of muslimah dresses, long skirts and even jubah

-i can buy books that i want, especially those expensive ones

-i can fly to mecca and medina, to experience the great feeling myself

-i won't add burden to dad for my daily expenses

-i need not to borrow money from others; which is actually really shameful

and so the list goes...

last week itself, i cried quietly on my pillow, as i have all the thoughts above.oh, how shameful of me to be such ungrateful creature. an ungrateful human being who has been given free oxygen to breath, free land to live on without paying any rental fee, complete and healthy body with the ability to taste food and drinks, to understand happiness and love and numerous other ni'mat..

how shame of you, farina!

*******************************************************************

today...

alhamdulillah, i am allocated at SMK Ibrahim for my practicum, which is free from any criminal, juvenile or problematic students

alhamdulillah, until today, everything went smooth and fine

alhamdulillah, i got form 1 for my teaching practice during this practicum, as how i've wished

alhamdulillah, all the teachers at this school is nice and welcomes me to the school

alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah..i've started to feel the joy of being an educator, 4 example, when today a student shows her upset face as i told her that i won't be teaching their class..or when students greet me with wide smiles and cheerful faces, also the great feeling after helping a girl to feel better by giving her some advice regarding her personal problem. all these great and stimulating experience despite the low and down feeling i had during the first week..

alhamdulillah, He listens to my prayer and help me to build confidence in facing the students and help me to recover from my low-spirit in teaching

yes, it is too early still..i have not started to plan the lesson.i have not being observed by the teacher and the lecturer.i have not faced students' misbehavior in the classroom. a lot more to come in fact..

but at the current moment, i am gladly thankful to Allah..for everything that He has arranged for me

***************************************************************************

farina..

can you see how fair HE is? being rich isn't all that you need. peaceful mind and heart is far more valuable. besides, you are not like others who don't even have food to eat and proper home to stay. . if you feel like you are lacking of or missing something in your life, be patient and try to think again, with a calm mind, and list down all the gifts that HE has actually given to you, or, perhaps not now, but for the later life if you keep being patient and be grateful to HIM. oh, but not only that.fulfill your obligation to HIm, and keep walking to the eternal happiness in the eternal world.

p/s: if you are born rich, how sure are you that all the money won't be wasted and spent on unnecessary things. how sure are you that you will spend the money for HIM? how sure are you that you won't forget HIm and keep your faith in HIm? just look at how Firaun turns out to claim that he is god just because Allah made him healthy for his whole life.and how Qarun's belongings and wealth gone as he became ungrateful man after receiving his wealth.

so stop grumbling and appreciate what you have. do you understand dear? =)

first day of practicum

2010-07-25T23:12:00.003+08:00

well, i'm quite sleepy n should be sleeping rite now.hence i'll write in short forms~

in chronology, the first day in SMK Ibrahim.

report to the office wif raynur. oh, i was at the school by 6.45! really early huh? =) first day's spirit
was waiting for d pengetua.he wasn't around so GPK 1 took over.a little briefing.then he showed the staff room. did not get any timetable o relief n mentor teacher.might have to wait for one week as they need to settle wif other things first.
greet all teachers.got my own table.raynur's a bit far.settled down
next table is a new teacher too.transferred for husband.kak wan.
boring.nothing much to do as the school is busy wif few events coming up.esp on Wednesday where d sultan will b coming for hari anugerah.
surfed via hotlink mobile internet-one hour pass.messaging others.
see some teachers' xtvties in staff room.
went to counselling room as to establish professional r/ship wif d administration (also to avoid sleeping in d staff room.hehe)
learnt few things from the counselor.
first day ended.phew~

ya Rahman, thanks for allowing things to sail smooth.alhamdulillah, this is better than my ROS experience which is totally d other way round.d teachers are nice and they welcome us.feel better.next to discover is the studentss..

p/s:

-gonna have mr seva's listening n speaking xtvties for relief (if there's any)

-students' english is said to be good.they're prepared from home.

some might even just sleep in d class. hmm..i must think of challenging activities then~

ya Rabb, may i be able to control d class n conduct d students well.amin~

pre-sentation...pre-practicum..

2010-07-21T21:55:00.004+08:00

another few days before going for the practicum..am i ready to be part of the school? how will i be doing in SMK Ibrahim? will i be able to get along with that number one school? (as printed on the students' shirt) oh..i hope i will

dis morning was my turn for the presentation.hm..my personal rating was 6/10..

reasons being:-

> voice projection is a total degrading factor.apart from insufficient amount of volume, the tone is rather monotonous.sigh.

> body language, style of presentation and enthusiasm is not shining anywhere from d beginning until d end of d slides.sigh.

>mispronunciation accompanied my speech most of the time.SIGH

ok, now, considering about the practicum which is due dis Sunday, 25th July...

-teacher should have loud voice for better classroom control (p/s: will my voice survive during the fasting month? hopefully..amin)

-interesting presentation..interactive conversation will grasp students' attention better

-teacher's speech is a crucial element..especially d pronunciation! oh, n not to forget grammar..

current mode: anxious..

being singular

2010-07-20T13:21:00.003+08:00

recently a single-ladies club has been established and i was elected as the president with another three beautiful valid members.oh, surely this club is unregistered as it is only something of fun among us.. =) but one thing to be mentioned here.. i am single and i am totally okay with it.perhaps, at times, a slight of worries visits my conscious mind, yet, i am still fine. =)

it is not about being too choosy or being too ignorant..

it is about a choice. a chosen choice made by me.

i cannot deny that the feeling of being loved by a man is definitely special yet i choose not to experience it anymore for the time being, until i am ready and Rabb says it's time for me..

once i thought that i has found the right (not perfect) person for me --> as the famous saying goes; love is not about finding mr. perfect but mr. right.. and i thought i am being blessed as the beginning of the (somehow official) relationship occurs on 1st ramadhan itself. but who knows, it is really not as how i viewed it. it was not a blessed love because the pure love between two opposite sexes only can be achieved by marriage as how He has guided us. oh..how mischievous syaitan is..he secretly..slowly..dragging you to the wrong path with every sorts of strategies..techniques..in order to deceive you so that you will think you are still on the right track when the fact is vice versa.

okay, coming back to the present moment.as i mentioned above, i've made my choice and i shall stand strong with the decision. because i don't think i am ready yet.mentally, spiritually..oh, plus economically perhaps :P

once i read iluvislam's wall post on fb:

"penuhi keinginan kamu atau penuhi keinginan ALLAH dan rasulNYA? jika kamu ingin penuhi keinginan kamu, nescaya tidak akan pernah berjaya namun jika keinginan tuhanmu yang kau dahului, semoga akhirat menjadi kejayaan bagimu" <-- my version

ya..the wants will always be here in the heart..wanting to be loved and to love a guy but i choose not to fulfill the wants yet.. and actually there might be some other reasons too..

hm..one of the aims in my life is to become a good wife and a good mother to cute children; as to seek for the His bless and His Jannah. but i must prepare myself for the contrasting result too.. who knows when i'll leave the world.and who knows if i really can bear a baby..as it is He who decides.. so, i should be prepared to accept if ever i'm destined for such situations..isn't the afterworld is our main target? (",)

p/s: (not really related to this entry) talking about the uncertainty--> who knows if i am to die as a muslim or not (nau'zubillah!) because as i heard in the sermon last nite, even rasulullah's sahabats; the ones who witness him with their own eyes..who saw all the mukjizats, ended up in anNaar..because they declared themselves as non-muslim after the death of Muhammad s.a.w.. how about us who never saw him? (T_T)

ya Rahman..allow me to live and die as a muslim, with the true faith in YOU, forever and after..i am nobody to guarantee the future, hence i hold onto YOU..guide me and don't let me go astray

unexpected incident

2010-07-16T11:28:00.004+08:00

dad had an accident last night.together with kak De, which is on the back of d bike. dad's motorbike was hit by a fast evil careless heartless motorbike which just ran off after knocking down dad's bike.both dad n kak De fell on the road.luckily there wasn't any car at that time which might ran onto them (praise to Allah)..

the accident occurred just at the corner nearby our house.they just got out of the house and heading to durian burung.dad was sent to the hospital by an ambulance.i got d news from Amir (kak De's friend) when i was at Dewan Munsyi for an Israk Mikraj programme.upon hearing the bad news i was terribly crying by the Munsyi door and severely attacked by mischievous mosquitoes.all terrifying thoughts came into mind and tears are flowing fast. luckily then i got to talk with kak De and know that Dad is still conscious , though he had a temporary shock at the time and was wondering what happened and where they were going (when he was taken to the hospital).

kak De had some bruises on her arm. Dad's right shoulder is broken as well as his right toe-nails. both are cemented. and now dad's using wheelchair.

mum doesn't allow me to go back.even when i got the chance to talk to dad (his voice is rather weak) mum made dad to tell me to stay here. ya..i better follow what they said.besides, surely i'll need money for the ticket (oh allowance!..) and who's gonna pick me up from the bus station by 5am as Dad is now on wheelchair? if my returning is just gonna add troubles, better for me to stay and do my best by praying to Allah so that dad will get better soon.. amin.amin.to whom else will i pray if not to the true and only God..Allah..

i truly believe all these is not for nothing.He's watching and knowing all and i believe that Allah is arRahmaan..arRaheem.. hence i leave all my worries and prayers upon HIm.please join me in my prayer.that'll be greatly appreciated.

copied from friend

2010-07-12T15:07:00.003+08:00

huhu...
aku rindukan mereka..
risau jua...
Ya Allah Yg memegang hati2 kami....
pandulah langkah mereka atas jalan kebaikan..
berikanlah mereka kefahaman sebagaimana engkau berikan daku kefahaman..
buat saudaraku,
kekadang langkah kita yg payah menuntut mujahadah yg besar...
jgnlah kerana kurang merasa manisnya nikmat iman..
engkau menjauh dan meminggir dr jalan tarbiyah..
sesungguhnya andai nikmat kemanisan iman yg dikau kejar..
adakah bila futur itu datang engkau lebih menjauh dr Tuhan?
Redha dan ikhlas bukan hy dtg bila hati berbunga2 dlm ibadah...
krn segala pahit jerih usaha ibadah hy Allah yg menilai..
mulianya manusia bkn krn ringannya jasad dan hati menghirup tarbiyah dan mengharungi dakwah...
tp besarnya mujahadah bg kita yg sedang payah..
futur itu satu nikmat..
bila kite tetap cuba istiqamah..
walau kemanisannya telah padam..
berbaik sangkalah kepada Allah Yg menciptakan..
peringatan bahawa segala yg kita lakukan hy kerana Allah semata..
bkn kerana mengharap nikmat kemanisan iman semata..
yg menjadi bonus bg org2 yg beriman...
wallahuallam
segalanya hy kepada Allah
segalanya hy kerana Allah..
>bersabarlah duhai teman<

-->> original article

ups and down

2010-07-10T09:38:00.004+08:00

salam..

feel bad towards the two kids..sorry abdah n izah..we had to cancel our plan for morning cycling bcoz of my back-ache..we'll go for another time, i promise..insya Allah..

hm..these few days i've been intimate enough to my bed.almost half of the day i'm lying on the bed.but i'm praying that all these are not for nothing (hoping..wink2..please ya Rabb..may this be a kaffarah to clean up my sins..amin3..)

recovered from slight fever (err..quite bad at times..hohoo) yet got back-ache dis morning.i'm worried if it's a sign of more serious illness..na'uzubillah~

oh, (excited mode) as i've been talking about cycling earlier, yup, we've gotten our bicycle from tini's house yesterday.quite a hard time to get those 2 bicycle into CCQ xxxx but we've made it..plus repaired it-send to a bicycle shop of course :p- and d repair guy help us to put d cycles back, in such an easy steps.lol.. dat's why things will become easy once u noe how things should be done. =)

dis morning, as d cycling plan is cancelled, i end up eating roti canai at d front.after 2 years.hoho.still, d same roti-canai maker..n d same taste. (",) oh, not to forget d nenek at d nearby stall, selling kueh n nasi lemak.hehe.. we've been stuffing much n many foods ever since we've stepped into sg. petani.yet, much consideration needed to be taken, esp concerning on money spent.huhu..pray dat d allowance will be in soon..soon enough..

p/s: kueh talam by d junction at Taman Ria Jaya also nice! again, d exact same kueh n kueh seller since last 2 years. =)

mouth vs. hands

2010-07-05T12:43:00.007+08:00

speaking is different from writing. on a piece of paper, you can first draft the points, write down the sentences and make adjustments and correction whenever and where ever you wish.and finally d final form which you are satisfied with is the only product that people will see from you.

but speaking is a different issue.surely you can plan what you wanna speak in d mind first, but will it be relevant within the period of conversation or communication between two parties? are you gonna say "erm..let me think what i'm gonna reply first.." lol..

this is one of my worries..(regarding the practicum; which is just around d corner) = communication in the classroom, with the students.what if i get stuck and could not clearly express what i am thinking or express it in the wrong way? how about if i could not find the appropriate word to describe my message? uh..
and honestly, i am not much a good speaker.i think i can write better than speak.oh, and it is especially when i am much concern about how my performance (at the particular time)is.dang~

i gotta have to be involved in more conversation in english.i need to brush up my speaking skills, moreover, i need to really add on to my vocabularies index.aihh..hopefully this two weeks left would be enough for me.

p/s: people said if you are too anxious, things will go worse.hence i'll stop worrying too much instead, i'll work on my improvement and see how thing goes.oh, and may i find the beauty of tawakkal..insya Allah

urusan hati

2010-07-04T20:59:00.003+08:00

ya Rahman..
ku mohon cekalkan hati ini dan utuhkan keinginan ini untuk kembali kepadaMu
ku rayu tekalkan hati ini agar tidak mudah kembali hanyut
ku pinta jangan biarkan hati ini tewas kepada seribu macam kehendak dan keinginan nafsu yang tidak Kau halalkan

ku mohon ya Rabb..ku mohon..

pelihara hati ini agar tidak tewas kepada naluri mencintai insan sebelum cintaMu dan rasulMu ku raih..

kanak-kanak itu

2010-07-03T10:31:00.003+08:00

usai menyepit telinga winnie dan jari2 ginn beserta beberapa baju lain dan 2 bantal di ampaian itu, ku hampiri 2 kanak2 comel bertudung di meja batu itu.

> dik, boleh mintak tolong tak?
- boleh, tolong ape? (dengan mesra)
> ada pegi mana2 tak hari ni?
- takde..
> erm..akak nk keluar nanti.kalau hujan boleh tolong angkatkan teddybear dgn bantal tu tak? 2 tu je..
- boleh2..kalau nk angkatkan baju pon boleh, letak bakul =)
> eh, takpe2..yg tu je.baju2 tu tak payahlah =)
- ok
> tima kasih ea.. =)
- sama2

(kebetulan ampaian itu memang berhadapan dgn rumah mereka..ku kira org yg paling pantas untuk menyelamatkan ginn, winnie dan bantal2 itu..kalau basah, susah nk keringkan..)

aku senang melihat kanak2 cilik itu bertudung dan ramah.kadang2 ada juga aku lihat mereka bertelekung, bersiap untuk solat di surau.sentiasa ramah dengan senyuman.manis.

bertuahnya mereka, pasti dididik dengan asuhan yang baik dan berhikmah.rumah mereka sering terbau masakan yg harum.aku antara penyokong terbesar utk hidangan rumah bagi keluarga mawaddah.terjamin khasiat dan kebersihan, dan paling penting sekali boleh disulami dgn basmallah dan zikirullah serta selawat saat menyiapkannya (seperti yg diajar oleh sepupuku, juga dlm buku yg pernah kubaca)

asuhan agama dari kecil sememangnya sangat penting.namun ada juga kata2 sinis pernah ku dengar- "ala, kecik2 lagi baik la, bila da besar..lain jadiknye.."
hm..kita tak pernah boleh untuk menduga rencana Allah kan.tapi usaha yg berterusan dan baik perlu dimulakan dari awal..tak gitu?

ape2 pun, aku harap kanak2 comel ini membesar menjadi srikandi wanita yg berbakti untuk agama.amin.. =)

7th semester

2010-07-01T15:09:00.006+08:00

salam..

i have been away from this blog for quite some times; since semester break can be considered as a hibernation period for my blogging activity. despite many stories and updates to be shared, i'll update on my current status.

i have returned to ipsah or the official name IPG kSAH, sungai petani kedah and this brings a mixture of feeling.well, the first day itself, i'm overwhelmed with the attack of memories-ever-occurred in this particular college. well, let's not talk about the past, especially those mistakes done..

upon arriving the great gate of ipsah (hihi) me and ima were both glad and excited.7hours of travelling from terengganu to kedah didn't make us feel tired(as yet) because we were much grateful that the journey went smooth and we made it! congrats ima! =)

ok, skip to the academic stuff.hihi.well, the main highlight of this semester is surely about praktikum.oooohhh..we've got to know our schools where we'll do our praktikum with our partners.as for me and raynur, we are assigned to S.M.K Ibrahim and the praktikum will start on 25th July. oh, some info that you should know about this school:

"Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Ibrahim or Ibrahim Secondary School (Ibrahim School) is a premier public secondary School in the town of Sungai Petani, in the northern Malaysian state of Kedah. The school is well-known for its excellent academic and co-curricular achievements, and has produced highest scorers in the public examinations in Malaysia."

dup..dap..dup..dap..err, i guess i am much nervous upon being assigned to such elite school.oooh.. will i perform well in front of the students? will i be able to respond to students' questions and remarks? the heart beats faster each time i think of these.. =S

please pray for me so that i'll be doing fine and sail through the praktikum period with fine weather and smooth sailing..hoho.

ya Rabb, i believe that You have planned something of my benefit by assigning me to that school.may everything that occurs during the praktikum be useful and meaningful both for my life and my Deen..amin..

**few things to be done**

~> a teacher name tag is a must. erm, should it be 'nor farina' or 'farina asiah'? which do you think sounds better?

~>diving into the bunch of notes on classroom management..pedagogical and philosophical aspect of teaching as well as on the language content-grammar.writing.reading.etc.etc as to get myself prepared for the battle (haha)..

p/s- i'm looking forward to experiencing the teaching process in a real classroom yet the butterflies are surely dancing in my stomach as the days approach nearer.nervous is the word.oh~

silent is gold

2010-04-20T16:00:00.003+08:00

Selama mana engkau mendiamkan diri semasa dicerca dengan begitu provokatif, Malaikat turun mempertahankanmu. Apabila kamu mula sahaja membuka mulut untuk menjawab, Malaikat berangkat dan Syaitan merapat. Jika dirimu resah semasa diam, dan lega sesudah melepaskan kata, engkau nampaknya selesa bertemankan Syaitan- http://www.facebook.com/hasrizal

astarghfirullah!

tak sangka..selalunya kalau org ngate, laju je mulut ni nk reply (as in to explain dat i'm not as how they judge me or say about me)

duh.. i dun wanna add syaitan in my friends' list.

ya Rabb, forgive me..

a blast of euphoria

2010-04-19T07:03:00.016+08:00

i always have lotss of things to write in dis blog.in fact, i've quite a number of pending entries.yet, i end up ignoring n abandoning them.lol.

i'm back.currently in bahtera house,tm.for d examination which will begin on 24th April.another few days to go.

one thing makes me worried, i've just started 'my study week' yesterday. in d train-reading scorpion orchid.dang! i noe..repeating the same nasty habit. hopefully i'll be able to catch up n able to answer the questions during d exam days.amin..

oh, d euphoria i'm hinting at d title.well, i m not quite sure y but my trip back home 4 dis time is quite a big pleasure 4 me.it really makes me happy n pleased. much contented.

alhamdulillah =) --> as i've once said, if u feel happy, remember, who creates d things or scenes that make u feel happy or at least, who allows you to have d heart n have d ability to sense n experience d happiness in urself; if it is not d almighty Rabb. so let's say alhamdulillah (",)

perhaps, bcoz of wat have n had happened to me n my inner self previously [all those self-conflicts, self-insecurity..being labelled as 'carik markah lebih'..etc..etc..] n those quite 'down moments' 4 me, i'm then able to sense a different atmosphere at home n able to appreciate d peace n soothing feeling of being home.even little things can make people happy, if d lil things are exactly what you need =)

ok, quick review of the week

friday-9th Apr

off to KL wif ima, sue, aida n ana wif grey-TAX.spent time at Times Square.lunch.bowling (one strike.yeah).send off sue n ana.off to Sungai Besi but having quite a critical moment where we almost ended up at putrajaya.luckily found d highway exit yet, having another difficult moments of tracking back to right route.alhamdulillah, still managed to be on time to hop into d bus at putra.oh, b4 dat, ate nasi lemak at Bangsar wif ima n bf-kae, n aida. then, sleeping like fainted woman in d bus n awake wif aching neck.duh.

saturday-10th Apr

dad picked me up, around 5am.mum waited at home.oyin too.another phase of fainting, ahahaha.as if to qada' sleeping hours which have been much reduced previously-4 miss maria.lol.awake wif heavy head.sigh..so improper lifestyle.huhu

sunday, monday, -11th & 12th Apr

nothing much happened.staying quietly at house.haha.sleeping wif oyin.oh! n she is really sick! pity her.she did not eat even a single piece of d friskies..er, smartheart o watsoever name of d food.even drinks need to be forced in to her mouth.aigoo.not sure y she is in such critical condition.mum gave some medical salt n luckily she recovers after few days.feel much relief to see her start bathing n grooming herself again, as to compare her lying half-dead like before.

haha.still, she never fail to wake me up at d necessary time. thanks oyin! gonna miss u soon.

tuesday -13th Apr

sisters-day-out! =D kakde day's off.so we went out to town.to purchase my ticket to s.alam.to buy jubah 4 mum n cloth 4 kakde's convo in May.to settle wif her bike's insurance n tax. to hunt 4 ima's n sharm's presents.and...

to play bowling

to eat secret recipe.

.full stomach.

.great time.

.big grins n laughs.

next, to pasar malam.still quite early so we walked to desa murni's syurga tudung.grabbed orange n red veil. hehe.at pasar malam,bought some food as well as wall-decoration sticker . luv them! =D i juz simply lyke fancy stuff.esp things related to decoration n colours n sticker. =D

before & after.gonna buy lots more, later.hehe..

oohh!! not to forget about me riding d motorbike! yea, not a new thing, but i've finally have d gut to ride it across d main road! through the traffic lights! haha..to those who knew me, they noe how big achievement dis is.rofl~

(err, shud be brief flashback, aite..hehe)

wenesday, thursday-14th, 15th Apr

hm, my tummy is craving 4 lots of food.n mum prepared them.yeaa..luv u mum! always. =)

-in fact, those early days i've been stuffing food into my tummy.hehe. oso packed kerepek pisang s well..to be munched while studying.eheks.. (oh! promised naim to give him some.dun worry, got a pack 4 him.oh, bahtera girls, i've 5 packets 4 us.choose, salty o sugary.. :-D )

friday-16th Apr

dad bought nuggets, 4 food in travel.hihi.luv u too dad! always too!

(ya Rabb, may You always keep them under Your blessing n protection, here n in the afterworld.amin).leaving 4 s.alam at nite.double decker transnasional bus.

saturday, sunday-17th, 18th Apr

staying at bangah's new house.pangsapuri sri nuang.bukit bandaraya.7th floor

on saturday, followed them to buy chandelier 4 their new house.

then to shop other stuffs.i'm looking 4wad 2 buy new watch as i've left mine at home.at least one to be used during exam.nah..cudn't grab one.shall buy it here later..at nite, helping them out with d new chandelier.sweet black wif crystals.the next day, initially i'm planning to go by train from s.alam itself but ended up at kl sentral.yeaa.kak nadia made bangah to go to kl.they're going to muzium negara later, i suppose.

from ktm, ruhi picked me up.n now, here i am in room 2 bahtera.typing on mila's desk.ehehe-tumpang yer..going to pasar pagi wif jialing n to campus later..daaa~

believe me

2010-04-08T10:14:00.004+08:00

who else could be leading me to find the book.

who else could inspire me to write what i've written.

not to forget, at the peak hour, the moment when i'm most worried as the date due has actually passed.rushing off to library,with the pressure of the fact that all my housemates has already handed in theirs. hoping that i can produce a piece of writing..at least i can send it by that day, as too much procrastination edi..

who else do you think has given all the blessing?

ya ALLAH, indeed YOu are aRRaheeem.. =')

jealousy strikes~

2010-04-05T15:16:00.003+08:00

o Rabb..

i feel much jealous..

to those who have done better in school

to those who shines till today in their academic *esp in medic*

n those who're furthering their studies overseas..

n d jealousy strikes deeper as i saw d pic of one of my close-competitive friend when i was at school last time.we were alwiz competing each other (academically ya) for final results n i left her a year behind as i went thru PTS.

but today i saw her pic, studying at Uk. d jealousy strikes.

is dis normal jealousy allowed? will i then be ungrateful?

to farina--->

please, remember that certain things are decided to be in such situation. He knows what's best 4 u n what's best 4 others too.do not feel bad.be grateful wif wat u have.do not regret 4 ur decision -giving up medic at kmPh for fear of blood plus in-confident wif chem n bio performance-

be grateful and prepare urself d best for ukhrawi.jia you!! n let their success be ur inspirations.. =)

self-dedication...

2010-03-29T17:18:00.008+08:00

dear beloved self..i found these might help you...remember, He's teaching you, as how you have been praying for... take care..

***************************

1.Don't hold grudges. Develop your "new self image" without those grudges. If you find yourself remembering an old meanness someone did or said. Just go to other thoughts: think about a new thought.

2. Don't be set in your ways: "That was then--and this is now." Which means "I can go on to something new, and I don't need to even think about that anymore."

3. Don't hold on to junk in your mind! Dump the "junk" out of your conscious thoughts. Cleanse your mind--don't be double minded...

4. Don't say I can't forgive. Say "I will forgive that." or "I will not hold onto that old anger anymore." Try to forgive old wrongs quickly by saying "I do forgive that!"

5.Declare, "I will not only forgive, but I will forget that!" Believe that you can overcome negative thinking, and then go on as if you do forget it. If it comes to mind say, "Oh well, it doesn't matter anymore!" You'll start to believe it.

6.Don't entertain bad thoughts. If you find yourself getting agitated about something, begin to say: "It doesn't matter anymore. I will think about something else..."--and then read something, write a note or a letter. Watch a show on TV into which you can really get involved. Refuse to allow your speech or thinking to be negative and refuse to be taken over by anxiety or anger in your thoughts.

7.Reject that thought. You can actually say that to yourself: "I reject that fretful or angry thought!" You can even say "Stop it!" to yourself.

8. Command yourself silently to be quiet. When you find yourself talking too much, or thinking and even planning to say things that you will regret later, tell yourself mentally: "Just shut up." Then do something to occupy your mind--and so you will actually change you thoughts to something else.

9.Accept your circumstances and yourself, and so don't hate yourself, but then say, "I can and will improve!!!"

10. Avoid being down; stop thinking and talking negatively

11.Don't judge people on shallow or prejudicial bases. There is a danger of falsely accusing one who is innocent,

12.Don't allow yourself to make faces, to frown of grimace at people--or even go flat as if you are so very tired. So try to relax more often; smile more even when you don't feel much like it.

13.Realize that you may be able to assume your attitude and control your view point and the outlook which makes a real difference and that sarcastic frowning, cynical pronouncements and fatalistic declarations are "bad mental hygiene" and is a kind of "craziness," which is self-defeating and is a bad mental habit--so brighten your outlook and so lighten your load.

*********************************************

(retrieved and adapted from here)

for the hungry soul~

2010-03-26T19:22:00.004+08:00

this is a forward from my friend.it somehow replies to my prayer.n it also open up my mind..indeed HE is the greatest Lover of All!.. =')

~forward dr sahabat:

Hari ni secara kebetulan saya membaca majalah "MUSLIMAH" di sebuah
klinik gigi. Isteri saya buat routine yearly checkup untuk gigi
beliau hari ini dan sambil menunggu saya membaca satu artikel yang
cukup menarik. Tajuknya "Kebesaran Solat Sunat 2 Rakaat". Hayatilah
artikel tersebut dibawah ini.

Allah SWT selesai menciptakan Jibrail AS dengan bentuk yang cantik,
dan Allah menciptakan pula baginya 600 sayap yang panjang , sayap
itu antara timur dan barat (ada pendapat lain menyatakan 124,000
sayap). Setelah itu Jibrail AS memandang dirinya sendiri dan
berkata: "Wahai Tuhanku, adakah engkau menciptakan makhluk yang
lebih baik daripada aku?." Lalu Allah berfirman yang
bermaksud.. "Tidak"

Kemudian Jibrail AS berdiri serta solat dua rakaat kerana syukur
kepada Allah SWT dan tiap-tiap rakaat itu lamanya 20,000 tahun.

Setelah selesai Jibrail AS solat, maka Allah SWT berfirman yang
bermaksud."Wahai Jibrail, kamu telah menyembah aku dengan ibadah
yang bersungguh-sungguh, dan tidak ada seorang pun yang menyembah
kepadaku seperti ibadat kamu, akan tetapi di akhir zaman nanti akan
datang seorang nabi yang mulia yang paling aku cintai,
namanya 'Muhammad.' Dia mempunyai umat yang lemah dan sentiasa
berdosa, sekiranya mereka itu mengerjakan solat dua rakaat yang
hanya sebentar sahaja, dan mereka dalam keadaan lupa serta serba
kurang, fikiran mereka melayang bermacam-macam dan dosa mereka pun
besar juga. Maka demi kemuliaannKu dan ketinggianKu, sesungguhnya
solat mereka itu aku lebih sukai dari solatmu itu. Kerana mereka
mengerjakan solat atas perintahKu, sedangkan kamu mengerjakan solat
bukan atas perintahKu."

Kemudian Jibrail AS berkata: "Ya Tuhanku, apakah yang Engkau
hadiahkan kepada mereka sebagai imbalan ibadat mereka?" Lalu Allah
berfirman yang bermaksud. "Ya Jibrail, akan Aku berikan syurga
Ma'waa sebagai tempat tinggal..." Kemudian Jibrail AS meminta izin
keada Allah untuk melihat syurgaMa'waa. Setelah Jibrail AS mendapat
izin dari Allah SWT maka pergilah Jibrail AS dengan mengembangkan
sayapnya dan terbang, setiap dia mengembangkan dua sayapnya dia
boleh menempuh jarak perjalanan 3000 tahun, terbanglah malaikat
Jibrail AS selama 300 tahun sehingga ia merasa letih dan lemah dan
akhirnya dia turun singgah berteduh di bawah bayangan sebuah pohon
dan dia sujud kepada Allah SWT lalu ia berkata dalam sujud: "Ya
Tuhanku apakah sudah aku menempuh jarak perjalanan setengahnya, atau
sepertiganya, atau seperempatnya?"

Kemudian Allah SWT berfirman yang bermaksud. "Wahai Jibrail, kalau
kamu dapat terbang selama 3000 tahun dan meskipun aku memberikan
kekuatan kepadamu seperti kekuatan yang engkau miliki, lalu kamu
terbang seperti yang telah kamu lakukan, nescaya kamu tidak akan
sampai kepada sepersepuluh dari beberapa perpuluhan yang telah
kuberikan kepada umat Muhammad terhadap imbalan solat dua rakaat
yang mereka kerjakan.....

Marilah sama2 kita fikirkan dan berusaha lakukan... Sesungguhnya
Allah SWT telah menyembunyikan enam perkara iaitu :

* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan redha-Nya dalam taat.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan murka-Nya di dalam maksiat.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan nama-Nya yang Maha Agung di dalam Al-Quran.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan Lailatul Qadar di dalam bulanRamadhan.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan solat yang paling utama di dalamsolat (yang lima waktu).
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan (tarikh terjadinya) hari kiamat di dalam semua hari.

Semoga kita mendapat berkat daripada ilmu ini. Wallahualam kalau
rajin...Tolong sebarkan cerita ini kepada saudara Muslim Muslimat
yang lain agar menjadi renungan dan pelajaran kepada kita semua.
Ilmu yang bermanfaat ialah salah satu amal yang berkekalan bagi
orang yang mengajarnya meskipun dia sudah meninggal dunia...Amin Ya
Rabbal Alamin.

pleasee... ='(

2010-03-19T21:36:00.003+08:00

ya Rahman..i need strength..please...

i badly need it..i'm begging u..

as a poor person begging for some money to buy food.

as an injured person asking for help..

indeed You are the Almighty..

i beg You..pleasee..please...

their bond will always be thicker than mine.i need strength to accept the fact and be grateful with what i have..please ya Rabb..dun let me succumb to this ungrateful and nonsense feeling..

i beg You..please...please...

You are the one with greatest love..let me feel the love i have rather than looking for the one i feel that i don't have..

ya Raheem...i need You..i really need You... isk..i am afraid i will keep repeating my mistakes..

halwa telinga

2010-03-17T00:23:00.004+08:00

currently, i need to always listen to this particular song..

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Everytime you can make one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that its way too late
Your’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah we’ll find the way

nice lyric aite? but above all, let's always return to ALLAH =)

and feel d greatness of HIm by urself..

horrible terrible

2010-03-13T14:45:00.006+08:00

horrible.terrible.regretful.

dat's wat i can say for dis semester.

n i noe, d result is surely be terrible n horrible too..isk..

serves me right.

too much playing around.too much leisuring.too much sleeping.

pushing everything to d last last LAST minute ever..

crying is not d solution.but d tears shows d regret.

sigh..arRahman has shown HIs mercy way too much yet i did not show my gratitude.

i use it wrongly.continued to lazing around.

TORW..4P..MLEcriticalreview.MDA.EST.GRammaR.

every lil bit shows d remarks of my terrible horrible cincai work.

sigh.have i been forgotten abt my aims? what has happened to me?

dis is it.

enuf wif all regret.

i noe.things has happened.

yes,dis terrible mark wil remain i noe.

perhaps d gap will be way big from prev sem.

(but be not lower than dean pliss..*pray*)

n it shud be a big-enuf slap to wake me up from my long dreaming.

thanks arRAheem..

facebook, i'll be away for now.see u later.

ya Allah, guide me..n forgive me for my wrongdoings..

can you do me a favor?

2010-03-04T05:42:00.003+08:00

ya ukhti...

if you see me drowning in the laughter,

without a glance of remembrance to the afterworld,

remind me that the rightful laughter should be in heaven..

when you see me becoming too busy,

with the hustle and bustle of the temporary world,

until i forgot to stop and show my gratitude to Him,

tell me, He love those who always remember and praise HIm..

ya ukhti..

if ever my words hurt

or my acts harm

kindly help me to realize

and forgive me for such carelessness

ya ukhti,

support me, advise me, remind me..

in the name of ukhuwwah fiLlah...

and let us pray, that by doing so

He will keep us both under His mercy and guardian

no word may define the feeling

2010-02-27T12:13:00.005+08:00

alhamdulillah!!

alhamdulillahirabbil 'alamin!!

ya Allah, i am indeed grateful to embrace islam..to witness that there is no god but YOU

and Muhammad is YOUR messenger..

and please ya Rahman, ya Raheem..if i may beg..

please, let me live and breathe and sleep and awake and die in loving YOU..YOUR messenger..YOUR truthfully deen...

the love is burning in my chest!!

n no other love may compete with love to Rabb, not even the love of RomeoJuliet, QaisyLaila...

quick updates

2010-02-24T01:25:00.003+08:00

alhamdulillah.

diri masih sihat, berupaya untuk bangun dan melaksanakan kewajipan, insha Allah.

mental? kadangkala sedikit terganggu dengan emosi yang pasang surut.tapi, ikhtiar perlu diteruskan demi mengukuhkan taqwa padaNya.doakan ya.

iman? ya Allah, hidupkanlah dan matikanlah aku dalam iman dan islam.ku mohon...

banyak idea yang terlintas untuk menyeri laman blog tapi masa agak membatasi.

insha Allah, di kesempatan lain.

wassalam..

p/s: titipanku-usahakanlah melabur sebanyak mungkin selagi kamu masih berkesempatan, kerna hidup kedua yang bakal ditempuh kelak adalah suatu yang pasti dan perjalanan jauh sebegitu perlukan bekal yang cukup..

emosi!

2010-01-31T23:10:00.005+08:00

ya Allah..apa dah jadi dengan ummat Muhammad sekarang?

sedihnya...bagaimana agaknya reaksi baginda menyaksikan kehancuran moral dan peribadi agama ummah tercintanya hari ini..

baginda bermati-matian untuk menyebarkan Islam!..menyemaikan akhlak dan peribadi mulia.dengan pengharapan ummat dikasihi dibawah redha Ilahi..

tapi harini..

senang2 je remaja kita buat keputusan yang jelas seolah2 mendahulukan yang lain lebih dari agama.

mendahulukan cinta yang tak halal daripada melaksanakan perintah Allah

mengutamakan trend dari tunduk dan takut akan azabNya..

tak paham! apa rasionalnya x pakai panties masa valentine!!

tak kisahla kalau memang tak nak pakai atau selesa sebegitu..setiap hari ke, bila-bila ke..

tapi kalau KHUSUS untuk VALENTINE!!! KHUSUS untuk BOYFRIEND! saya ulang BOYFRIEND!!! bahkan bukan suami!!! untuk ape??!!!! saya sangat emosi sebab fikiran waras saya rasa sangat tidak dapat menerima budaya sebegini.tak kisahla benda/ hak peribadi pun..apa yang mereka nak tunjuk?nak buktikan cinta?? nak tunjuk betapa maha hebat dan maha dalamnya cinta untuk boyfriend tersayang???

ya Allah..peliharakanlah kami dari kehancuran..aku mohon... ='(

dan ampunkanlah kelemahan diri yang hanya mampu membenci dalam hati.tak terdaya kudrat mahupun fizikal untuk menghentikannya.. isk..

adik2..tolongla..sayangilah iman kamu...sekali dah hilang, ditutup hati..ditetapkan pintu ke neraka, tidakkah timbul penyesalan?

at least, fikirlah perasaan ibu bapa..wajar ke nak buat camtu untuk seorang yang belum sah statusnya kat kita? cintalah bagai nak mati pun tapi kalau bukan nama boyfriend tu yang tertulis sebagai suami, beerti bukanlah dia.korbanlah apa pun..harta..nyawa..badan..semua sia2..semua bahkan hanya mengundang kemurkaan Allah..

p/s: maybe orang kata, ala xpakai panties je..bukan nak buat apa pun..

tapi, tak ke perbuatan tu seolah2 menunjukkan -saya akan buat apa saja untuk kamu.dan motif tak pakai?

worried~

2010-01-29T12:22:00.002+08:00

whatever i will be doing..

wherever i'll be going..

or whoever i'll be connected to..

i beg YOU..please hold me tight in d Nur..

hihi

2010-01-27T07:16:00.003+08:00

urgghhh.......

very

very painful

can't

bear

any longer

can't

delayed!!

noo!! it can't be delayed not even a second!

out of my way..now...

**flush...phewww~

------------------------------------------------------------------

haha..do u find it gross? well, experimenting with gross subject.hikhik.

actually d main thing i wanna touch here is to be grateful.

can't see d connection?

ok la, few questions for u:

1. what if when u're doing ur pleasure business (:P) u forgot to check n u find out that u cudn't get enough water to clean urself.plus no other available alternative materials.

2. and what if, suddenly ur beloved stomach or anus (erk) got problem..or maybe not just that moment but it continued for days..weeks..months.. aaa~

soo..y don't u say thanks you Allah for the pleasure of being able to get rid those unnecessary things out of ur cute tummy..

let's say Alhamdulillah.. =)

am i guilty? if so, forgive me..please..

2010-01-25T15:33:00.005+08:00

i feel bad.as if i've created a gap.the gap.am i guilty?

maybe there is no gap at all.could be -as usual- it's just my feeling.false feeling.

but i see different reaction.the face and the eyes appear different in front of me.

am i guilty? how i wish it's just a false feeling.

is your serious face a sign? it's different.quietly i've been thinking and wondering if ever i hurt u again..coz i alwiz did without my realization.

is there anything upset u? could it be my writing? or my action and words? or what.. ? give me a clue..i can't figure it out..not that i didn't reflect.i did..

if i am the reason for ur bad feel, forgive me.hope u know how i appreciate u.

if i am the guilty, tell me so that i can stop doing the wrongs..

the dream of the apple (part 2)

2010-01-24T09:28:00.006+08:00

the apple is swaying rather happily on the tree..the image of the young guy slowly fades away from her..she's not much bothered by him..what has happened to her?

***********************************************

few days before...

(after the apple thinks she's meet d guy of her dream)

the tree : are u sure that the guy is of your dream?

red apple : indeed! he seems to have all the qualities that i'm looking for.but...

the tree : but what dear?

red apple : i know i'm not as good as him. he fits for better apples..

the tree : then, how about you?

red apple : me? i don't know.

the tree : listen child..first, istighfar... coz unconsciously u were thinking of a guy who isn't anyone to u.neither muhrim nor husband.secondly, the way u praise him might be not proper.how great a person be, remember He who creates is indeed the Greatest!

red apple : astarghfirullah..forgive me ya Rabb..

the tree : another thing child.. do believe in Rabbul 'Alamin that He has decided the best for you.if you wish to have a great man, fix urself and try to be as great as the man u're dreaming for..inshaAllah if u two were destined, He'll make it easy for both of u.if not, probably another person is better for you.u may feel that d guy u're hoping for can lead you to HIm but..perhaps he doesn't really suits u..in other aspects maybe.. could be, he's not the one written in LuhMahfuz for u..

~And (likewise) clean and chaste women are (specific) to clean and pious men while clean and pious men are exclusively for clean and chaste women. (surah anNur:26)

**********************************************

and so the red apple has returned to her calm mind and heart.she shall keep performing her rightful duties..

The END~~

the dream of the apple (part 1)

2010-01-22T15:19:00.009+08:00

the apple is still trying her best hanging on the top..let it be windy days, raining or stormy weather, she tries to keep holding to the branch that attach her to the big tree.until one day she sees a young guy.he's not even attracted to those red juicy apples that lie waiting on the ground to be picked.because he's standing on the earth with his purposes -carrying out the Creator's order.

the guy seems to have a good credibility.his personality has somehow convinced the apple that he is not an ordinary person. it sparks through his actions and speech.a person who has devoted his life to the Creator.someone who makes the apple thinks

'o, how lucky if i ever being picked by him.he might even help me to return to the Great Creator and fulfill my duty on the earth..o, how grateful shall i be then!'

yet the apple then realizes..she is not the best apple on the tree.lot more apples appear more promising than her.she knows that she's not comparable to the guy.the guy surely being destined to pick better apple...

***************************************************

layakkah jika diri mengharap disunting si dia..pengharapan yang menggunung agar diri dapat dibimbing..dinasihati..serta diteguhkan pendirian utk terus menongkah menuju kepada Pencipta..

namun cermin diri menghujah -"kau tidak seperti Anna yg sememangnya dijodohkan dgn khairul Azzam (sewajarnya mereka bersatu kerna saling sepadan dan sekufu). mungkin kau bahkan cuma sperti eliana.."

***************************************************

bisikan si epal merah kepada sang pemuda:

aku mencintai agamamu kerna ia agamaNYA..

kau perkenalkan aku kepada rujukan yang membawa aku kembali merindui DIA

(tapi kita mafhum, hakikatnya segalanya dihadirkan oleh DIA jua,

dan kau..hanya salurannya)

dan aku tidak mencintaimu kerna kau tidak halal bagiku..

ya, itu yang sewajarnya

kerna harus aku tidak alpa..tujuan lahir di dunia

-yang sedetik cuma

juga, perlu aku berwaspada..

dengan jarum halus tusukan makhluk dilaknat~

segala telah direncana DIA..

tugas sekarang hanya perlu usaha setia kepadaNYA..

insha Allah

p/s: the red apple is surviving yet she needs some strength~

meh nak kongsi citer sket..

2010-01-18T18:39:00.003+08:00

hm, haritu ada kawan saya kongsi satu citer ni dgn saya..pendek je pun, tapi yang penting hikmah yang kita boleh ambil kan? (",)

suatu hari Rasulullah saw menyuruh Abu Hurairah memakai sepasang terompah dan berjalan, serta menyatakan kepada orang yang ditemui dalam perjalanannya dengan terompah itu bahawa "kamu akan pasti masuk syurga..ini titipan dari Rasulullah saw.."

jadi Abu Hurairah pun berjalan dan orang pertama yang beliau jumpa ialah saidina Umar al-Khattab..jadi dia pun beritahu seperti yang dipesan oleh Rasulullah..kemudian...

cuba teka apa reaksi saidina Umar?

a) menangis kegembiraan

b) menjerit dan bertakbir

c) sujud syukur

hm...jawapannya....

saidina Umar telah menumbuk Abu Hurairah!

kenapa?

mereka berdua terus menemui Rasulullah dan Rasulullah menyatakan bahawa itu adalah benar pesanan daripada baginda.

lalu Umar berkata janganlah dilakukan sebegitu lagi kerana dia takut dia atau orang2 lain yang mendengarnya menjadi malas dan tidak lagi berusaha untuk beramal..

hm..agak2 kalau kita diberitahu macam tu, ape reaksi kita? buat kenduri kesyukuran? masuk syurga tu...best tu..

tapi saidina Umar bahkan risau, khuatir jika dia merasa terleka dengan jaminan itu...

sekian ceritanya.. wassalam =)

kongsi..

2010-01-16T09:34:00.001+08:00

Hasrizal Abdul Jamil Alasan bermain kuiz telek nasib sbg "main tak apa, percaya jangan", adalah menyalahi kaedah Islam yg menetapkan kemungkaran itu hendaklah tidak sekadar ditinggalkan, malah dijauhi. "Setiap apa yang aku larang kamu drpd melakukannya, maka hendaklah kamu MENJAUHKAN DIRI daripadanya. Dan setiap satu perkara yang aku perintahkan kamu lakukan ia, maka lakukanlah ia dengan sepenuh upaya diri..." [Hadith Muttafaq 'alayh]

[copy paste dr facebook]

they do exist

2010-01-13T08:21:00.004+08:00

i'm totally fresh by the time i lay myself on the bed.ironically the incident occurred despite d fact that i've juz finished reciting alMulk, 3 Quls, and ayaatul Qursy..Indeed He whom decides everything.

it was 00.12 by d time i closed my eyes.a sudden struck awaken me.a heavy pressure upon d chest urging my mind to think "gosh! is it dat thing??!" and i decided to step down from d bed.yet, upon thinking of dat my foot became too heavy and my hands are unmovable, like being nailed to d bed."Ya Allah, help me.."

during smkap days, students are much fond to say "if such thing happened, reach for ur nearest friends or call their name.."

mila! i need to call her name! at least come and touch me, please..or do awake so perhaps d thing might go..i can't! i tried to voice out but nothing produced.i kept struggling and kept trying to call her.almost in despair..ya Rabb..pity me...help me, arRahman..

asma'alhusna! it's by d bedside where i left b4 i sleep, isn't it??! urgh! not even a finger moved.even to move my eyes from left to right to look at mila at d opposite bed was such an exhausting force.

i kept thinking about d book.and somehow, with the struggle i manage to sit! such a relief!!

quickly, i rushed to mila.she seemed a bit shocked.lying next to her yet d mind can't stop processing.mila suggested to recite any surah..

ya Allah, protect us from any unwanted incidents..

if You are to test us, may You give us strength to undergo it..

a weak heart

2010-01-08T07:36:00.006+08:00

i am a person who is easily and much affected and disturbed by people's remark upon me.

or when i got to noe that people are displeased wif me.

hence d bad feeling starts to overwhelm and attacking me.

decreasing the level of confidence which is already low.

worse is; tears sometimes accompanied d process.(despite knowing the fact that tears rightfully belongs to arRaheem and shall fall only for HIM).

an incident affect me last night.childish and sensitive me.sigh.

to HIM i seek d strength and alhamdulillah, HE never sleep and always listen.

ya Rabb, i am grateful and thankful as You have given me a friend whom can help to calm and soothe me.in fact those are from YOU, just that it comes to me through her..

what matters is not people's judgement; but how Rabb and Rasul see me.-reminder for me-

it feels different when the ukhuwwah is for HIM.together we shall help and remind each other to continue walking to HIM.to YOu i pray that YOUr bless be with us and our families and friends.

* a friend of mine seems to have found the one destined for her.i pray that everything goes well and fine, and more importantly, may both of them unite under Rabb's blessing.

**another friend of mine said that to get a good man, we ourselves should be good first.hopefully my effort will double up after this.yet, to remind myself, it's not solely because of hoping for the man but to seek for mardhotillah.as a good man will lead his woman to the rightful track.insyaAllah.

it is all about new

2009-12-31T21:59:00.004+08:00

new year.
new hopes.
new determination.

yet, we are the same old person.
eh, no..we can also become a new person!

x best

2009-12-30T22:43:00.003+08:00

nape hobi saya merajuk??
saya x suka hobi ni!
dan saya terlupa, padahal bru je pesan
supaya amek menda dr sudut y positif..

hm..encik syaitan, sila menghindar...

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, jauhkan kami daripada pautan nafsu syaitan durjana dan kami berlindung pada-MU daripada kejahatan nafsu kami dan jadikanlah kami daripada golongan orang yang SABAR.

pagi yang cerah

2009-12-30T08:32:00.004+08:00

assalamualaikum..
selamat pagi.
amacam pagi ni?

bestlah bangun pagi2 sebenarnya.da lama tau tapi susah sgt nk praktis.huhu.
sgt2 best lagi bila tgk cahaya oren mula masuk bilik.oh, sebelum tu, cuaca dingin.sangat nyaman.fuh.

dan lagi best lagi kalau kita sama2 fikir, siapa lah agaknya yang ciptakan semua ni? kan3... =)

oh, nk pesan je..jom kita lihat benda dari sudut positif.
memang, setiap satu benda memang confirm la ada yang negatifnya, kadang2 yg negatif tu dominan.tapi..kita yg pilih nk tgk yg mana kan.ala, mcm dgn kekasih kita; kalau buruk tang mana pon, mesti kita dok sayang part cantik dia kan..

hm, nasihat td tu khusus utk diri saya yg disayangi (yg sendiri selalu sgt2 lupa nk apply-duh, tolong ingatkan kalau rajin..thanks) serta rakan2 y dikasihi..

praise be to Rabbul Alamin..yang Maha Indah kerna DIA pencipta segala yang terindah!

a humble wish

2009-12-29T05:35:00.010+08:00

a girl said

i would like to be the apple, you know..the apple that stays on the top, wouldn't let itself fall on the ground just to attract the attention of others to pick it up.
rather, the apple will stay strong up there, waiting patiently until one day the deserved one come and pick her up straight from the top.it wouldn't allow herself to be low, just to be eaten by a human.it will belong to the great one.the one with iman and taqwa...

another girl asked

what if u're destined to be like Asiah, the wife of Pharaoh? definitely he is not the one with iman and taqwa..besides, you never know whether you'll get what you wished for as the Almighty decides..

the girl then thinks and she replied

i shall be patient and redha with HIS decision, as HE knows what is the best for me..
ya, it is easier said than done.hence i must keep holding to the rope, as du'a is the best weapon ever..but the most important is, what's in our heart..let us all pray to be al-mukhlisin..

alhamdulillah

2009-12-28T19:01:00.005+08:00

just, when u choose to return to HIM, the door is wide open.
so why with the hesitation? keep your faith and walk into the path of bless n rahmah
with ur du'a..

ya Rabb, i am much thankful for all You have given.
and now, another treasure from you..
a friend who can keep my mind close to You..
alhamdulillah

walking to a new year..

2009-12-17T17:28:00.002+08:00

salam maal hijrah.
may everything is better than previous year,
including our investment for the later world.

a taste of worriness

2009-12-12T10:56:00.003+08:00

right at this moment i'm surfing at Mayang Village, around the Mydin mall in Terengganu.
excellent networking.not that i'm worried about.

when i first arrived, i saw a lot of groups, teenage groups, mainly boys..i presume they're around 14-17 years old.ya, it's holiday so they're x playing truant i noee.
but i'm worried wif their style, their ways of getting around..
plain and naive faces but wrapped in weird dressing..coloured hair, accessories, yet no one knows underneath those innocent looks.
and those girls around them..

still..there are few groups of nerdies too.. :P
and even primary school boys n girls..aih, to compare wif our time..

hmmm...sumthing unpleasant disturbing my mind..hope it's juz my feeling..

and i'm worried if i ever need to deal wif such students at school soon.
oh, surely i have to.

amaran!!! boleh muntah hijau kalau nak baca jugak..

2009-11-22T22:26:00.012+08:00

perasaan yang hangat..macam bersembunyi bawah selimut tebal masa hujan lebat kat luar? atau masa pagi yang amat dingin?

hm..kalau macam minum secawan air coklat panas sekali teguk boleh tak? hangat kat perut la tapinya..

rasa sakit hati..sangat2..macam dah nak gila.. sakit sangat2..benci sangat2..benci, tapi tetap nak tengok dia..aigoo..benci kat diri sendiri jugak, nape mesti jadi macam separuh gila ni? apa kelayakan dia? siapa dia? tapi, tetap..dia menjejaskan, sangat2 menjejaskan hati, perasaan, fikiran..

coffee prince.haha, memang amat lambat pon..baru je tengok.thanks mila =)

yup, ayat2 muntah hijau kat atas tadi, kesan dari menonton cerita korea ini.kihkihkih...semua macam nak terkeluar semula dari peti besi yang kebal tu..peti besi yang kuncinya dah dihanyutkan laut..laut masa... aihh...

(agak2 percaya ke sume ni ditulis oleh farina? rofl~~)

sangat syiok layan citer romantik kan? x setuju? suka citer aksi ganas2 atau citer seram? nak offer citer horror kat saya? no thanks..cukup lah bebaru ni x leh tido smpai kaco budak2 lain.dang~ hihi..

aih..merapik byk2 lepas layan movie.aih...

perasaan gembira tengok orang tu senyum..marah bila rasa ditipu (eh, ni x pernah kot..ya, kamu memang baik..huhu) geram bila kena usik..bila rasa macam diabaikan..
bila sakit bukan nk pegi jumpa doktor tapi nak dengar suara dia..aih, mustajab ke?
macam2..pelik kan.

pikir2 balik, semua ni terbit dari satu perasaan yang tak jelas puncanya..otak? hati? jantung? saraf? subhanAllah! hebatnya DIA! perasaan yang berbaur..bergolak, tak jelas tapi nyata..siapa yang membolehkan kita rasa semua ni kalau bukan DIA..

thank you ALLAH =)

p/s: nape thank you? bukan terseksa n merana ke? ya..dulu sangat2, tapi macam saya kata, kunci dah hanyut dgn lautan masa..lautan yg sangat2 luas..kalaupun ada darah menitik, darah yg sangat banyak, laut akan tetap warna biru jugak lepas suatu jangka masa..setuju tak?

so, thank you sebab saya berpeluang alaminya..dan lebih penting lagi, belajar sangat banyak daripadanya..juga menyedari betapa DIA sayangi hambaNYA dalam cara DIA sendiri =)

alhamduliLLAh~

semester break

2009-11-20T18:49:00.006+08:00

only 4 a month.aiseh.soo short.

it's raining heavily over here.almost 24 hour.uish! i can't run away from the temptation.from the wants to sneak under the comfortable comforter..on the warm bed.aih!

any plan for dis break? naah..too short.perhaps if d weather is fine i'll practice on my bike skills.hoho.juz now tried, but sis still not much satisfied.she even suggested me to re-take my bike license.duh.terrible am i? ya, i noe..hikhik..

enjoying leisure hour at homey.great unexplainable feeling.trying my best to get closer to Him.shud make full use of this big opportunity.b4 d semester reopen n flood of assignments rush in.haha..

ok la, it's time 4 maghrib prayer.haiyaa ala' ssolaah, haiya alaa' falaah~ yuk kita solat yuk! =)

saya pun tak faham..

2009-11-17T11:19:00.005+08:00

pagi tadi saya pergi basuh baju guna mesin basuh di blok Khar.ya lah, malam ni dah nak balik terengganu, jadi kena selesaikan semua baju tu dengan segera.
sambil tunggu mesin selesai, eh, saya terperasan ada seekor kucing putih bertompok hitam, datang dekat dengan saya, kemudian pergi ke suatu sudut.
dekat sudut tu ada longgokan baju-baju yang tidak dikutip oleh siswa siswi, jadi makcik yang membersihkan blok kumpulkan atau longgokkan di sudut itu.
bila saya tengok dengan teliti, eh! ada empat ekor anak kucing yang masih halus! sangat lemah dan sangat kecil.tergolek dan terliuk lentok, ya la, tulang masih belum kuat.
rupanya anak-anak kucing itu milik ibu kucing berwarna putih hitam itu tadi.dia pergi dekat anak-anak dia tu.longlai.penat agaknya ye, mungkin masih dalam pantang? hihi..

saya tengok walaupun ibu kucing tu masih lemah, tapi bila anak-anak dia panjat dia (secara tergedek-gedek dan jatuh-jatuh..hihi, lucu!) ibu kucing tu masih setia dekat situ.dia bagi anak dia minum susu.bayangkan, empat mulut dan lapan tangan halus, kat badan ibu kucing lemah tu..ibu kucing tu sampaikan kena angkat tangan dia sikit, bagi laluan kat anak-anak dia.saya tengok dia, dan dia tengok saya, dengan mata yang agak kuyu.lemah.

bila anak dia dah kenyang dan tergolek, ibu kucing tu mandikan pulak anak dia.perlahan-lahan.cermat.bila macam ni la, saya mula tak faham...

1. saya tak faham kenapa kucing punya naluri kasih sayang lebih tinggi dari manusia. ya la, tengok je la kes-kes buang anak, dekat tandas la, surau la, kolej la..haish!

kucing: tak ada orang atau kucing lain yang akan marah atau kecewa dengan dia kalau dia abaikan atau biarkan anak dia.tapi dia tetap jaga anak dia.dia tak ada akal untuk bezakan yang mana baik yang mana buruk, macam manusia, tapi naluri sayang dia menyebabkan dia setia jaga anak dia.manusia yang berakal pulak? aduh, ironi kan?

sedihnya tengok generasi baru yang makin rosak..apa yang boleh saya buat dalam situasi macam ni ya? sebab sebaik-baik manusia adalah mereka yang bermanfaat kepada orang lain.saya mahu jadi orang yang berguna untuk masyarakat.mungkin, satu hari nanti saya dapat buat sesuatu..

exam is over for now

2009-11-16T15:17:00.001+08:00

alhamdulillah, not much problem encountered for dis semester.
praise be for the Almighty.
gonna have steam boating session soon.will upload if got any pic.
momentos wif 23A bahtera.wonderful ladies are here.. wink2.. :P

forgive me

2009-11-07T11:10:00.005+08:00

forgive me for troubling..
forgive me for giving headaches and never stop doing so,
eversince i can't munch my own nutritious food
until i can walk freely away from you..much away
but still, still keep troubling you..

promise, i made, to myself and you,
not to waste the chance i've got
to make myself a 'somebody'
who in return, will serve for u..
or at least make u proud of me, seeing me
achieving the best that i may gain,
while i'm away, from u..
so let others calling me elite or watsoever,
as i know my promise to you
you, whom i always place my heavy burdens of life..
forgive me for that

never in my prayer do i forget you
cause only HIM knows best how
to pay for your priceless deed
in the eternal world

to mum n dad

tido

2009-11-05T11:47:00.001+08:00

last time..

i used to sleep less..

but nowadays..

i'm sleeping a LOT! aishh..

i love exam??

2009-11-01T14:30:00.006+08:00

calling me elite and assuming me liking and loving exam is soo not accurate.lol.

perhaps i should change d phrase.
.i love study week.
better i guess.
why?
coz it's soo santai.hehe
yaa..guess i've not done much studying n revising.sigh!! lazy bum.

but i like it when i do not need to rush for morning classes.no need to rush after asar and maghrib prayers.can do laundries.watch movieess and play games -hohoi, kantoi misusing d study week.haha..

but actually, there's sumthing about exam period.reminding me of Him.to let me know and remember d sweetness of faith and hope.laying your wishes upon d Great and knowing that u'll not be turned down.even if things may not be as how u wished for, perhaps it's better 4 u dat way.

bcoz.. pliz, do juz remember, He who knows what's best for you..

“… Boleh jadi kamu membenci seseuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; ALLAH mengetahui, sedangkan kamu tidak mengetahui.” (Al-Baqarah : 216) <---sorry, can't find d english translation

p/s: once i've got to hear meaningful words from somebody sitting next to me in the exam hall.he told me b4 entering d hall.and repeated it by mouthing it.words dat convinced how he feels for me.well, memory is alwiz a memory isn't it? thanks 4 d memory. :P (wink2)

of milk and cats

2009-10-30T09:54:00.007+08:00

i've been missing oyin..i'm longing to caress and pat a pet, cat in particular..mum called me several days ago n told me about how oyin has become cuter and adorable..

oyin in pet society? naah..it's too artificial.i want something real!

and i got it this few mornings!! yeaa..nope, nobody send any cat o kitten to my house..

d morning air was much nice the other day so i decided to go for cycling wif my pink bike of course.went for several rounds in the college and bahtera compound.but then i stopped at the house by the end of the road, in the same row of our bahtera house.ya, d one wif brown gate n d one organized open house during eid last time (but not for us.haha).

...bcoz i saw a few adorable creatures crawling in the bushes and on the road.

they are kittens!! happy indeed!! jump3!! haha..this morning i went again to look for them and play with them. =D

two oranges, two black and whiteys, and four much younger lil kittens..
the oranges and black+whiteys succeeded on jumping over the drain but the littluns aren't having enuf courage and will..tho i can see how much they wanted to jump over and play on the road.haha..cute littluns!!

oh! and today actually i found another two kittens.far younger than those at the house wif d brown gate.very pitiful.guess they just lost their mother.they seem so hungry and cold.so i've decided to get some milk for them.

went back home and prepared d milk, put in kfc container.cycled back to the pitiful kittens.
the chubbier one, black and white, drank some of the milk, while the other seem not to be fond of it.wondering~and she's also shivering.wondering~

since they don't drink much so i think better to give it to the bunch of cute, adorable, active kittens at the house wif brown gate.hence i cycled back there.

instead of running for me, the older ones came approaching the bicycle! haha..they started to scratch and scratch the tyre..jumping up and down.LOL! having much fun wif them.ahaks~ even took one orangey and put him in the basket.cycled within the area.he's fine.once stopped he jumped to the ground.nice ride huh? =D

when i offered d milk, they drink it!one of them even lick on my finger coz there's some milk on it.dun worry, i've got my dettol sanitizer wif me. =D

i helped one of the little kitten who can't cross the drain.she shriek, rather terrified.lol.but then she is happy wif d milk as well. =D

and moment later, i can she that she managed to jump over the drain herself! way to go cutie kitty!! =D

much contented! i luv cats and kittens and rasulullah s.a.w. also fond of them, rite =D

minggu belajar

2009-10-27T18:29:00.004+08:00

semester ini sesi kuliah sudah pun selesai.sekarang masa untuk para pelajar mengulang kaji segala pelajaran yang telah diperolehi mahupun tidak untuk semua subjek yang bakal diduduki untuk peperiksaan nanti....

alhamdulillah, tidak terlalu banyak dugaan mahupun kesulitan yang dialami oleh saya sepanjang semester ini. untuk tugasan individu, berpasangan jua berkumpulan, semuanya sudah selesai. pening juga kepala masa hendak selesaikan soalan-soalan objektif bagi subjek 'language test' tempoh hari.tapi semua dah pun siap.markah? alhamdulillah...

jadi sekarang, tak boleh terlalu selesa dan berehat terlalu banyak meskipun tiada lagi sesi kuliah.sekarang ini lah sebenarnya masa yang amat menguji disiplin dan tanggung jawab individu, terhadap diri sendiri.maksudnya, sama ada diri menggunakan masa yang diperuntukkan dengan betul atau sebaliknya.

dalam erti kata lain, tidak boleh salah guna masa lapang tapi perlu pastikan semua pelajaran sudah diulang kaji. kepada semua rakan seperjuangan, selamat berusaha dan berjaya. =)

[ahahaa..mode nk tulis cam budak skema dlm bahasa melayu..ok x? ]

err..

2009-10-26T14:32:00.005+08:00

my friend advised me not to upset my ownself. i shall take her words.i will not put any hope, nor having any false expectation.

still, i'll enjoy d 'cheecky' experience.lol. amusing myself quietly.hihi..(yet, must be careful :P)
so dat one day perhaps when i remembered about it, i'll smile n say: yaa, another nice memory..hihi..

saw him just now.uh!~ in d library.wif his friend. he's smiling at d moment.uh. oh..
n i feel funny to myself.because earlier in d early morning i dreamt of seeing him!. even told my rumet: eh, maknenye mimpi je laa jumpa dia td..ahaa.
but it turns out dat i see him, so dat's wat makes me smile.haha

dat's ol..tq.. :P

gelak gatai!!!

2009-10-23T18:13:00.003+08:00

-ok!! nape mesti kena teringat masa kem tu??rofl~
-sape kantoi dgn sape skrg ni sbenarnye?? rofl~
-aku suka tengok je.dat's final.

sekian terima kasih.

rofl~~

p/s: hitam (baju melayu) memang best!! x kesah kalo dok kt mamak pon.rofll!!!

daun pisang punya cerita

2009-10-22T17:48:00.013+08:00

mila da lama ngidam nasi daun pisang.
sume plan da buat.tunggu ketua chief.ayam pon da ready.

-yogi, jess, sharm, ina potong2 ingredients
-mila, ruhi, ck pegi umah makcik durian amek daun pisang -tima kasih makcik!!-

later start cooking.sue also come to help

eating time!!! after asar prayer, all join up.
-sharm, ck, jess, yogi serve d food =D
-jialing takes photos..(sorry, can't be published.ladies ^-^) oh!! n she uses fingers, not spoon n fork! clap3 for cute jiajia..

we got kari ayam..kuah kacang panjang..peria goreng(first time saya rasa!)

NI NASI DAUN PISANG SAYA... =)

n my most fav: papadom yg besar, rangup dan sedap!! =D
ella oso join.ima can't make it.so as micel..

chien made extra chicken curry 4 sharm.later chien, jialing helps to clean up d stove n kitchen.sue, jess, ck, do d dish washing.others too..
tp pinggan xyah basuh.daun pisang maa..hahaa

above all: it was superb!!! hugs n kisses to dearest housemate!!

p/s: sape kata girls cohort 4 xde life? :P

crawling...

2009-10-21T18:37:00.004+08:00

to Him..
sometimes it's really hard
sometimes almost give up..
o i beg, give me d strength

wondering

2009-10-18T11:36:00.003+08:00

why is it my name never appear? is it a bad memory of befriend wif me?

-see..u wif ur negative thinking again..

(dat's y i write it ere, as to let it out yet not really out there..my heart needs escapism or else it'll blow out inside n i dun really fond of dat)

alhamdulillah

2009-10-16T14:05:00.005+08:00

being with my dearest cohort 4 classmates gives me a chance to experience all d taste of friendship.
a blend, total mixture with its own uniqueness...

highly sweet of syrup, burning spicy and hot, sour and bitter.. but all wrapped in a great feeling and flavour.

thanks, ya Rabbi, for i had d chance..

thanks to all elements and components of cohort 4, that create the marvelous n amazing molecule!!

tribute to suzana's video.. (^,^) -----click here!!

heavy heart

2009-10-15T14:21:00.005+08:00

-d feeling is not nice. d acknowledgment of self mistakes.
not that i'm aiming for perfection. juz hoping to be normal.without negative manner.
releasing a deep sigh of tiresome.

dear myself.i get paid 4 wat ive done.try to think less about wat has happened.when people said look back at the past 4 d lesson, meaning: take d lesson n keep heading to better future.not keep grieving for past mistakes.

really hope dat time can heal..

really hope to be a better learner..

must stay closer to Him..must keep walking to Him.He has all d solutions.all d answer.all d need for d better.

hate

2009-10-11T13:48:00.007+08:00

i hate my tongue for all the hurting words it produce
n i hate my slow brain that fails to filter n remind the tongue not to utter bad words
n i hate myself who learnt d lesson only for a short period n keep doing it the rest of the time.
i hate it..coz it is never my intention to hurt anyone.esp those whom i dearly love.

people can think:"eleh..cakap je lebih.."
only me knows..i really din't mean it.."
bcoz i alwiz regret after saying things -but all are useless edi. uttered word will alwiz be d same.can't change it.d effect remains d same.

n dat's y...i h.a.t.e. i.t. d flesh with bone in my mouth.. ='(

stupid slow brain!!!! idiot bad tongue!!! tsskk

no..it shudnt be dis way. iam d stupid n idiot one actually ='(

oh yeaa

2009-10-10T09:29:00.002+08:00

let's have our time at kalumpang!!

say not much.pack ur stuff.get ready to leave =D

missingoyinygcute..

2009-10-05T17:44:00.010+08:00

she is much curious.at almost everything.
she is eager to know things around her, that's why she ends up being n the boxes, toilet, kitchen, under the bed, and even in the cupboard if you let the door ajar..

she's also very much cute n adorable!! i put her on the bed. she'll start cleaning herself-which she is much fond of doing; almost every half n hour [provided she's x sleeping..haha]. then she'll look at me getting ready for my prayer wif an undefined look: puzzled + adorable + blurr (haha). then as i turn my head to d left for salaam, she's already asleep.huhu..

i love to pat her. especially when she requests for it.yaa, she does. still remember dat nite.she's already full.she's went to loo outside.n she's ready to sleep.but she's not sleeping yet. she follows me wherever i go; to d kitchen..to d living room.till i get into my bedroom. so, i take her and starts caressing her and she starts to close her eyes.. oh~ she must be missing her mum...

miss u, oyin..wait for my semester break ya.. =D

o.y.i.n

O.Y.I.N

story telling....?

2009-09-29T12:46:00.015+08:00

he takes her to a Chinese shop.they look for the cutest tanglung in the shop.two of the same.exactly the same. =)

they went out of the shop when suddenly the boy approaches the girl, nearer.he told her, he's happy as it is their first day out.first with certain meaning.special meaning.she smiles.coz she feels so as well.

***

a friend of him wanted to buy the same tanglung, yet he manage to made her change her mind.so the tanglung will be the same for the boy and the girl only.

they've agreed to go for the festival together.he waited for her at the stairs.he might not know that the girl is smiling her heart out while climbing down the stairs.

***

he helps to light the candle and put it in her tanglung.he did the same to his as well.the girl cannot explain her feeling at the moment.a lil bit of shy, greater part of happiness with bit of heartbeatin drummin in her.

***

people said you can see relationship of two person via photos of them.whether they are happy together, loving each other or..even hate each other.
and the picture of the nite clearly tells how they are fallen for each other at the very moment.

the end

d earth is still spinning

2009-09-26T15:27:00.004+08:00

currently reading secret garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.
ya, surely for literature class..hehe..
but i find dat i enjoyed d story! really nice.
it amuses me, give a delighted feeling n i chuckled most of d time..

erm, still packing my stuff..will bring sum rendang for my housemates..oh, n keropok lekor kelulut s well-it tastes better than from d usual shop i used to buy before..

n not to forget keropok sira for chien.

gtg..

berkongsi~

2009-09-14T16:06:00.005+08:00

original article

---Kita tidak mahu wujudnya satu budaya paranoid umat Islam yang melatah dengan mudah tatkala didatangi oleh kenyataan-kenyataan seperti ini. Orang Islam sangat cepat dimanipulasi sebagai agen merosakkan produk dan perkhidmatan melalui penyebaran email yang mendakwa ada benda tidak halal, ada campuran beracun dan lain-lain yang mana sebahagaiannya adalah palsu. Ia hanya membuktikan bahawa orang Islam banyak kerisauan tetapi tidak banyak berusaha untuk menyelidik bagi menghilangkan kerisauan tersebut.

Islam tidak pernah mengharamkan Muslim membeli atau menggunakan apa-apa produk dan perkhidmatan daripada non Muslim termasuk Yahudi. Mengharamkan pembelian atau penggunaan sesuatu produk atau perkhidmatan hanya dengan alasan ia milik Yahudi, boleh mengheret kita terjebak kepada perbuatan MENGHARAMKAN APA YANG HALAL, yang mana perbuatan itu sama buruknya dengan MENGHALALKAN APA YANG HARAM.

Malah perbuatan anti Yahudi secara semberono begitu adalah bersifat perkauman yang dibenci oleh Islam.

Terdapat begitu banyak keterangan daripada Sunnah bahawa berurusniaga dengan kaum Musyrikin dan Yahudi itu adalah harus. Misalnya di dalam sepotong hadith:

“Sesungguhnya Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam membeli makanan daripada seorang Yahudi dengan pembayaran secara bertangguh dan mencagarkan baju besi baginda sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.” [Hadith riwayat al-Bukhari nombor 2326, 2/841]

Keharusan ini hanya berubah dengan adanya dalil lain yang mengubah keharusan itu, atau berlakunya sesuatu yang mengubah konteks hadith ini.

~thinking..hmmmm.....so, no need to feel too paranoid la ek..relief to get dis statement. =D

Praise be to Rabbi,

"...And they comprehend not anything of His Knowledge save as He wills..."
[Al-Quran: Surat al-Baqarah, Ayah 255]

puzzled

2009-09-12T12:52:00.005+08:00

how can i be a better friend? a friend whom can be reliable..a true friend indeed n in need?
somehow, i feel like i am not a good friend.always, i think i made myself a bad friend.but always too..i tried to be a good one, though i keep straying away by my attitudes (SIGH!). o is it sumthing dat i need not to understand o learn? but how's dat?? puzzled. =S

n i thought i cud be a good friend by being understanding.sumthing whic is very hard 4 me. coz i alwiz fail to understand.alwiz being ignorant.needing others to tell me dat i'm doing wrong.-based on my experiences, sumthing dat i'm x fond of, coz i'm making mistakess..

if i do wrong n didn't realize it, how can i tell dat i dun have d intention of doing it? n how not to let my wrong doings affecting d relationship? coz, it feels different. n i'm afraid, people will dislike me..

patah tumbuh hilang berganti~

2009-09-10T21:34:00.012+08:00

i missed him..dat morning..looking forward 4 d eid break so dat can sleep wif him.feed him wif d lizard dat i'll catch using long 'penjolok'..catching him and running away when he starts to catch my leg..but..

when i called my sis dat night, she was crying, as she told me in her loud sobs, he's dead d.

i'm speechless 4 quite a moment.quite hard to accept.coz been missing him.

but as ruhi said, it's juz a cat..

i've returned for d eid.oh, before dat, i've already got d news about some'one' new in our house..

erm, since i got to pack my stuff now as i'm leaving tonite so i'll tell about her in other posts.surely to talk about her soon.. ^,^

still, kunit will alwiz be sumwhere in d living red flesh of mine

i'm begging

2009-09-06T19:06:00.001+08:00

please....only You know d solution
only You have d total control over everything, even over me..
please...

well, evrything counts dear!

2009-09-04T12:15:00.006+08:00

i live on the earth for a reason.n i think i shud be clear of the reason.

"O mankind, indeed you are laboring toward your Lord with [great] exertion (i.e. striving throughout your life until you meet your Lord, hastening toward death)." [al-Inshiqaq, 6]

i can never be sure how long is the time until the final moment. and i am not as sure as how i will face d final moment in dis world. will i be in a shocked n full of regret condition? na'uzubillah.. will i be in a happy and excited condition? -hopefully!! amin..
but yaa, i can never be sure..

juz now, a friend of mine made me realize, i shud put more caution in my words..-ya, d same issue over and over again.. i feel quite bad actually. coz my intention is to help him realize certain things but i did it in a total wrong way.yup, feel bad becoz not only my effort is sum kinda useless, also affect myself.their respect upon me.n, bad mouth isn't sumthing He likes, rite?
-feel bad-

A man said, "Messenger of Allah (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam), such and such a woman has a reputation for engaging to a great extent in prayer, fasting and almsgiving but she annoys her neighbours with her tongue." He replied, "She will go to Hell." He said, "Messenger of Allah (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam), such and such a woman has a reputation for engaging to a small extent in fasting, almsgiving and prayer, but she gives pieces of curd as sadaqah and does not annoy her neighbours with her tongue." He replied, "She will go to Paradise." [4992]

so, i must be more careful in every single step. wat a waste to lose all ur labour juz becoz of a small organ.alert! -much worried.. =S

walking on another stage..closer to d end..

2009-08-30T00:32:00.014+08:00

salam..

praise be to almighty Allah taala. i am much grateful 4 His gift in a form of human beings in d name of my friends!! =)

i am now 21 years old girl.ya, much closer to d (unknown) end. till then, must keep surviving n trying d best to mardhatillAh. amin.

had great time at Secret Recipe.happy faces.full stomach. -er, since it's ramadhan, i feel easier to be full edi. better rite, 4 diet =D ok, less talk, juz enjoy d picas.. more at my fb (^,^)

secreto de recipeos

hcc.mila.hjl.ina.ruhi.

raynur.sharm.mila.hjl.hcc.ina.ruhi.yogi.jess.

full stomach

pick one.delicious.

thanks!!!

emonye minah ni!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-23T14:03:00.005+08:00

i noe, i am not a good friend.i noe, no one truly happy wif my presence. i alwiz hurt people wif my sharp words.my sarcasm. my insensitive and ignorant nature.my poor understanding.my high-curiosity-level-self.i'm not a pleasant person..is there any people who really loves me actually? o im x deserved to be loved?

have been trying hard.much.still..dunno..perhaps i juz dun deserve a trust.perhaps.why people can be understanding by nature? o is it the nurture? why didn't i grow such s well..

tired.of convincing myself-hey, alwiz learn from ur mistakes.watch ur manner.ur attitude!but will they still be by myside when i've learnt enuf? when i've become better person? o it never will happen? y i alwiz do mistakesss????y i alwiz messed up things? y i alwiz say things dat hurt people?-hate myself.isk!i noe i never had d intentions but hey, u did that! doesnt matter whther u're intentionally o not.

ya.i m not a person wif confidence.but how to be confident of urself when things seems not to be convincing..y do i feel people keep lotss of things behind me? o is it juz me thinking such way? i used to ask questions when i'm unsure.but now i dunno whter shud i ask o juz keep my mouth shut.coz i dun think i can get d answer.

farina, u need to try harder..........

it is not easy

2009-08-20T14:57:00.006+08:00

ya, saya amat particular dan sensitif tentang makanan.sebab saya takut, kalau tumbuh darah daging yang haram dalam tubuh saya ni dan pastinya akan dibakar dengan azab yang pedih dalam api neraka nanti. saya takut, pilihan saya salah dan akhirnya saya menzalimi diri saya sendiri.anak keturunan saya nanti.saya takut, kalau makanan yang haram tu jadi penyebab tertutupnya hati saya dari hidayah dan petunjuk Dia..dan akhirnya saya berada di jalan yang salah-na'uzubillah-dan kalau betul ianya terjadi, apa yang saya nak jawab bila ditanya nanti: sudahkah saya laksanakan tugas sebagai khalifah di bumi seperti yang telah diamanahkan kepada saya? kalaupun saya tak mampu sebarkan dakwah dan halang kemaksiatan dan kemungkaran, saya harap at least saya dapat jawab, saya sudah berusaha untuk patuh kepada perintahNya dan tinggalkan laranganNya..itu sahaja yang saya mampu lakukan..jawapan yang mungkin paling lemah..tapi at least saya punya jawapan.

pasal status haram makanan -kedai2, makanan yang ada emulsifier (Exxx), saya tahu, saya pun kadang2 x pasti, betulke menda tu haram? mungkin saya je yang rasa camtu.mungkin info yg sy terima tu salah.mungkin juga itu hanya rumours.tapi...saya rasa lebih baik untuk saya hindari yang syubhah. saya rasa alasan untuk saya menjauhinya cukup kuat.

first, keraguan itu sudah timbul dalam hati saya
secondly, sourcenya saya da evaluate n bagi saya ianya kuat.
thirdly, saya tidak menghadapi sebarang kesulitan untuk menghindarinya.banyak alternatif lain yang mudah didapati-alhamdulillah

lagipun, kalau nk compare apa yg saya kena korbankan -nafsu/keinginan nk makan menda tu- dengan segala nikmat yang dah saya dapat sejak dari lahir sampai hari ni..rasanya tak terbanding.ye la, saya ada family, kawan2 yang baik, saya tak cacat, masih dapat makan dan minum tak macam kat bosnia.tempat tinggal saya aman dari perang, bencana alam yg besar.saya selalu dapat jalan keluar bila ada masalah, saya tidak pernah dizalimi oleh sesiapa seperti Sumaiyah..banyak lagi la kalau nk listkan.smpai kalau baca ayat dalam surah Yaasin tu jadi malu sendiri..

Dan mereka memperoleh padanya manfa'at-manfa'at dan minuman. Maka mengapakah mereka tidak bersyukur? (QS. 36:73) -surah yasin, ayat 73

bila timbul keraguan, tidak bermakna saya terus menolak makanan itu, tapi saya hindari dan cari sedikit ruang untuk kepastian. agar saya boleh makan dengan yakin.

Bila berhadapan dengan syubhat :
tinggalkan perkara tersebut untuk elakkan dosa - redha Allah.
bila ada syubhat pada pandangan orang tapi tidak pada kita - mesti jelaskan supaya hilang syubhat tersebut - original article

Syubhah ialah sesuatu hukum yang tidak diketahui dengan jelas hukum halal dan haramnya. Ini dijelaskan daripada sebuah hadis yang bermaksud:
"Yang halal itu jelas dan yang haram itu jelas dan di antara kedua-duanya terdapat sesuatu yang syubhah yang tidak diketahui oleh kebanyakan manusia. Sesiapa yang menjauhi yang syubhah itu maka sesungguhnya ia telah memelihara agama dan maruahnya, manakala sesiapa yang cenderung terlibat dengan syubhah maka ia terlibat dengan melakukan perkara yang haram".

ya Allah, janganlah kerana perjuanganku ini aku tidak disenangi oleh rakan2 ku..
ya Allah, berilah kami petunjuk yang terang dan jelas agar kami terselamat dari kemurkaanMu..
ya Allah, peliharalah kami semua..

u make lemonade!

2009-08-16T20:08:00.005+08:00

bismillah, salam alaik~

hm, i guess those who used to listen to Hitz.fm surely know dis tagline:

"if life give you lemon, you make lemonade"

a lesson i learnt today is to alwiz stay positive.alwiz shud have d positive aura evolve and sparks around me.so dat my mind will alwiz stay calm.rational thinking will lead to better judgement, and more importantly, i stop hurting myself.coz i dun have d right to do so.coz i truly belongs to Allah and only He has all d might n d right to decide on me.

though i can never escape from mistakes, imperfections, and bad feelings..at least i shud be able to get rid of those negative thinkings, assumptions.

it's how u percieve things. if you look at something and you believe it is beautiful and valueable, then it is so. and even if sumthing so precious, so great but u take it wrongly, looking at it with terrible feeling and disgust, then it has no value upon you.

----Kesimpulannya, setiap daripada kita memiliki kekurangan dan kecacatan tersendiri. Kita semua adalah tempayan retak. Di mata Allah yang Maha Bijaksana, tidak ada yang terbuang atau dibazirkan secara percuma. Jangan takut akan kekurangan kita tetapi kenalilah kelemahan kita. Ketahuilah, di dalam kelemahan setiap orang, terselit kekuatan yang kita belum temui.- iluvislam.com