Sunday, July 25, 2010

first day of practicum

well, i'm quite sleepy n should be sleeping rite now.hence i'll write in short forms~
in chronology, the first day in SMK Ibrahim.
  • report to the office wif raynur. oh, i was at the school by 6.45! really early huh? =) first day's spirit
  • was waiting for d pengetua.he wasn't around so GPK 1 took over.a little briefing.then he showed the staff room. did not get any timetable o relief n mentor teacher.might have to wait for one week as they need to settle wif other things first.
  • greet all my own table.raynur's a bit far.settled down
  • next table is a new teacher too.transferred for husband.kak wan.
  • boring.nothing much to do as the school is busy wif few events coming up.esp on Wednesday where d sultan will b coming for hari anugerah.
  • surfed via hotlink mobile internet-one hour pass.messaging others.
  • see some teachers' xtvties in staff room.
  • went to counselling room as to establish professional r/ship wif d administration (also to avoid sleeping in d staff room.hehe)
  • learnt few things from the counselor.
  • first day ended.phew~
ya Rahman, thanks for allowing things to sail smooth.alhamdulillah, this is better than my ROS experience which is totally d other way round.d teachers are nice and they welcome us.feel to discover is the studentss..

-gonna have mr seva's listening n speaking xtvties for relief (if there's any)
-students' english is said to be good.they're prepared from home.
some might even just sleep in d class. hmm..i must think of challenging activities then~

ya Rabb, may i be able to control d class n conduct d students well.amin~

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


another few days before going for the i ready to be part of the school? how will i be doing in SMK Ibrahim? will i be able to get along with that number one school? (as printed on the students' shirt) oh..i hope i will

dis morning was my turn for the personal rating was 6/10..
reasons being:-

> voice projection is a total degrading factor.apart from insufficient amount of volume, the tone is rather monotonous.sigh.
> body language, style of presentation and enthusiasm is not shining anywhere from d beginning until d end of d slides.sigh.
>mispronunciation accompanied my speech most of the time.SIGH

ok, now, considering about the practicum which is due dis Sunday, 25th July...

-teacher should have loud voice for better classroom control (p/s: will my voice survive during the fasting month? hopefully..amin)
-interesting presentation..interactive conversation will grasp students' attention better
-teacher's speech is a crucial element..especially d pronunciation! oh, n not to forget grammar..

current mode: anxious..

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

being singular

recently a single-ladies club has been established and i was elected as the president with another three beautiful valid members.oh, surely this club is unregistered as it is only something of fun among us.. =) but one thing to be mentioned here.. i am single and i am totally okay with it.perhaps, at times, a slight of worries visits my conscious mind, yet, i am still fine. =)

it is not about being too choosy or being too ignorant..
it is about a choice. a chosen choice made by me.

i cannot deny that the feeling of being loved by a man is definitely special yet i choose not to experience it anymore for the time being, until i am ready and Rabb says it's time for me..

once i thought that i has found the right (not perfect) person for me --> as the famous saying goes; love is not about finding mr. perfect but mr. right.. and i thought i am being blessed as the beginning of the (somehow official) relationship occurs on 1st ramadhan itself. but who knows, it is really not as how i viewed it. it was not a blessed love because the pure love between two opposite sexes only can be achieved by marriage as how He has guided us. mischievous syaitan is..he secretly..slowly..dragging you to the wrong path with every sorts of order to deceive you so that you will think you are still on the right track when the fact is vice versa.

okay, coming back to the present i mentioned above, i've made my choice and i shall stand strong with the decision. because i don't think i am ready yet.mentally, spiritually..oh, plus economically perhaps :P
once i read iluvislam's wall post on fb:
"penuhi keinginan kamu atau penuhi keinginan ALLAH dan rasulNYA? jika kamu ingin penuhi keinginan kamu, nescaya tidak akan pernah berjaya namun jika keinginan tuhanmu yang kau dahului, semoga akhirat menjadi kejayaan bagimu" <-- my version

ya..the wants will always be here in the heart..wanting to be loved and to love a guy but i choose not to fulfill the wants yet.. and actually there might be some other reasons too.. of the aims in my life is to become a good wife and a good mother to cute children; as to seek for the His bless and His Jannah. but i must prepare myself for the contrasting result too.. who knows when i'll leave the world.and who knows if i really can bear a it is He who decides.. so, i should be prepared to accept if ever i'm destined for such situations..isn't the afterworld is our main target? (",)

p/s: (not really related to this entry) talking about the uncertainty--> who knows if i am to die as a muslim or not (nau'zubillah!) because as i heard in the sermon last nite, even rasulullah's sahabats; the ones who witness him with their own eyes..who saw all the mukjizats, ended up in anNaar..because they declared themselves as non-muslim after the death of Muhammad s.a.w.. how about us who never saw him? (T_T)

ya Rahman..allow me to live and die as a muslim, with the true faith in YOU, forever and after..i am nobody to guarantee the future, hence i hold onto me and don't let me go astray

Friday, July 16, 2010

unexpected incident

dad had an accident last night.together with kak De, which is on the back of d bike. dad's motorbike was hit by a fast evil careless heartless motorbike which just ran off after knocking down dad's bike.both dad n kak De fell on the road.luckily there wasn't any car at that time which might ran onto them (praise to Allah)..

the accident occurred just at the corner nearby our house.they just got out of the house and heading to durian was sent to the hospital by an ambulance.i got d news from Amir (kak De's friend) when i was at Dewan Munsyi for an Israk Mikraj programme.upon hearing the bad news i was terribly crying by the Munsyi door and severely attacked by mischievous mosquitoes.all terrifying thoughts came into mind and tears are flowing fast. luckily then i got to talk with kak De and know that Dad is still conscious , though he had a temporary shock at the time and was wondering what happened and where they were going (when he was taken to the hospital).

kak De had some bruises on her arm. Dad's right shoulder is broken as well as his right toe-nails. both are cemented. and now dad's using wheelchair.

mum doesn't allow me to go back.even when i got the chance to talk to dad (his voice is rather weak) mum made dad to tell me to stay here. ya..i better follow what they said.besides, surely i'll need money for the ticket (oh allowance!..) and who's gonna pick me up from the bus station by 5am as Dad is now on wheelchair? if my returning is just gonna add troubles, better for me to stay and do my best by praying to Allah so that dad will get better soon.. whom else will i pray if not to the true and only God..Allah..

i truly believe all these is not for nothing.He's watching and knowing all and i believe that Allah is arRahmaan..arRaheem.. hence i leave all my worries and prayers upon HIm.please join me in my prayer.that'll be greatly appreciated.

Monday, July 12, 2010

copied from friend

aku rindukan mereka..
risau jua...
Ya Allah Yg memegang hati2 kami....
pandulah langkah mereka atas jalan kebaikan..
berikanlah mereka kefahaman sebagaimana engkau berikan daku kefahaman..
buat saudaraku,
kekadang langkah kita yg payah menuntut mujahadah yg besar...
jgnlah kerana kurang merasa manisnya nikmat iman..
engkau menjauh dan meminggir dr jalan tarbiyah..
sesungguhnya andai nikmat kemanisan iman yg dikau kejar..
adakah bila futur itu datang engkau lebih menjauh dr Tuhan?
Redha dan ikhlas bukan hy dtg bila hati berbunga2 dlm ibadah...
krn segala pahit jerih usaha ibadah hy Allah yg menilai..
mulianya manusia bkn krn ringannya jasad dan hati menghirup tarbiyah dan mengharungi dakwah...
tp besarnya mujahadah bg kita yg sedang payah..
futur itu satu nikmat..
bila kite tetap cuba istiqamah..
walau kemanisannya telah padam..
berbaik sangkalah kepada Allah Yg menciptakan..
peringatan bahawa segala yg kita lakukan hy kerana Allah semata..
bkn kerana mengharap nikmat kemanisan iman semata..
yg menjadi bonus bg org2 yg beriman...
segalanya hy kepada Allah
segalanya hy kerana Allah..
>bersabarlah duhai teman<

Saturday, July 10, 2010

ups and down


feel bad towards the two kids..sorry abdah n izah..we had to cancel our plan for morning cycling bcoz of my back-ache..we'll go for another time, i promise..insya Allah..

hm..these few days i've been intimate enough to my bed.almost half of the day i'm lying on the bed.but i'm praying that all these are not for nothing (hoping..wink2..please ya Rabb..may this be a kaffarah to clean up my sins..amin3..)

recovered from slight fever (err..quite bad at times..hohoo) yet got back-ache dis morning.i'm worried if it's a sign of more serious'uzubillah~

oh, (excited mode) as i've been talking about cycling earlier, yup, we've gotten our bicycle from tini's house yesterday.quite a hard time to get those 2 bicycle into CCQ xxxx but we've made repaired it-send to a bicycle shop of course :p- and d repair guy help us to put d cycles back, in such an easy dat's why things will become easy once u noe how things should be done. =)

dis morning, as d cycling plan is cancelled, i end up eating roti canai at d front.after 2 years.hoho.still, d same roti-canai maker..n d same taste. (",) oh, not to forget d nenek at d nearby stall, selling kueh n nasi lemak.hehe.. we've been stuffing much n many foods ever since we've stepped into sg. petani.yet, much consideration needed to be taken, esp concerning on money spent.huhu..pray dat d allowance will be in soon..soon enough..

p/s: kueh talam by d junction at Taman Ria Jaya also nice! again, d exact same kueh n kueh seller since last 2 years. =)

Monday, July 05, 2010

mouth vs. hands

speaking is different from writing. on a piece of paper, you can first draft the points, write down the sentences and make adjustments and correction whenever and where ever you wish.and finally d final form which you are satisfied with is the only product that people will see from you.

but speaking is a different issue.surely you can plan what you wanna speak in d mind first, but will it be relevant within the period of conversation or communication between two parties? are you gonna say "erm..let me think what i'm gonna reply first.." lol..

this is one of my worries..(regarding the practicum; which is just around d corner) = communication in the classroom, with the students.what if i get stuck and could not clearly express what i am thinking or express it in the wrong way? how about if i could not find the appropriate word to describe my message? uh..
and honestly, i am not much a good speaker.i think i can write better than speak.oh, and it is especially when i am much concern about how my performance (at the particular time)is.dang~

i gotta have to be involved in more conversation in english.i need to brush up my speaking skills, moreover, i need to really add on to my vocabularies index.aihh..hopefully this two weeks left would be enough for me.

p/s: people said if you are too anxious, things will go worse.hence i'll stop worrying too much instead, i'll work on my improvement and see how thing goes.oh, and may i find the beauty of tawakkal..insya Allah

Sunday, July 04, 2010

urusan hati

ya Rahman..
ku mohon cekalkan hati ini dan utuhkan keinginan ini untuk kembali kepadaMu
ku rayu tekalkan hati ini agar tidak mudah kembali hanyut
ku pinta jangan biarkan hati ini tewas kepada seribu macam kehendak dan keinginan nafsu yang tidak Kau halalkan

ku mohon ya Rabb..ku mohon..

pelihara hati ini agar tidak tewas kepada naluri mencintai insan sebelum cintaMu dan rasulMu ku raih..

Saturday, July 03, 2010

kanak-kanak itu

usai menyepit telinga winnie dan jari2 ginn beserta beberapa baju lain dan 2 bantal di ampaian itu, ku hampiri 2 kanak2 comel bertudung di meja batu itu.

> dik, boleh mintak tolong tak?
- boleh, tolong ape? (dengan mesra)
> ada pegi mana2 tak hari ni?
- takde..
> erm..akak nk keluar nanti.kalau hujan boleh tolong angkatkan teddybear dgn bantal tu tak? 2 tu je..
- boleh2..kalau nk angkatkan baju pon boleh, letak bakul =)
> eh, takpe2..yg tu je.baju2 tu tak payahlah =)
- ok
> tima kasih ea.. =)
- sama2

(kebetulan ampaian itu memang berhadapan dgn rumah mereka..ku kira org yg paling pantas untuk menyelamatkan ginn, winnie dan bantal2 itu..kalau basah, susah nk keringkan..)

aku senang melihat kanak2 cilik itu bertudung dan ramah.kadang2 ada juga aku lihat mereka bertelekung, bersiap untuk solat di surau.sentiasa ramah dengan senyuman.manis.

bertuahnya mereka, pasti dididik dengan asuhan yang baik dan berhikmah.rumah mereka sering terbau masakan yg harum.aku antara penyokong terbesar utk hidangan rumah bagi keluarga mawaddah.terjamin khasiat dan kebersihan, dan paling penting sekali boleh disulami dgn basmallah dan zikirullah serta selawat saat menyiapkannya (seperti yg diajar oleh sepupuku, juga dlm buku yg pernah kubaca)

asuhan agama dari kecil sememangnya sangat penting.namun ada juga kata2 sinis pernah ku dengar- "ala, kecik2 lagi baik la, bila da besar..lain jadiknye.."
hm..kita tak pernah boleh untuk menduga rencana Allah kan.tapi usaha yg berterusan dan baik perlu dimulakan dari awal..tak gitu?

ape2 pun, aku harap kanak2 comel ini membesar menjadi srikandi wanita yg berbakti untuk agama.amin.. =)

Thursday, July 01, 2010

7th semester

i have been away from this blog for quite some times; since semester break can be considered as a hibernation period for my blogging activity. despite many stories and updates to be shared, i'll update on my current status.

i have returned to ipsah or the official name IPG kSAH, sungai petani kedah and this brings a mixture of feeling.well, the first day itself, i'm overwhelmed with the attack of memories-ever-occurred in this particular college. well, let's not talk about the past, especially those mistakes done..

upon arriving the great gate of ipsah (hihi) me and ima were both glad and excited.7hours of travelling from terengganu to kedah didn't make us feel tired(as yet) because we were much grateful that the journey went smooth and we made it! congrats ima! =)

ok, skip to the academic stuff.hihi.well, the main highlight of this semester is surely about praktikum.oooohhh..we've got to know our schools where we'll do our praktikum with our for me and raynur, we are assigned to S.M.K Ibrahim and the praktikum will start on 25th July. oh, some info that you should know about this school:

"Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Ibrahim or Ibrahim Secondary School (Ibrahim School) is a premier public secondary School in the town of Sungai Petani, in the northern Malaysian state of Kedah. The school is well-known for its excellent academic and co-curricular achievements, and has produced highest scorers in the public examinations in Malaysia."

dup..dap..dup..dap..err, i guess i am much nervous upon being assigned to such elite school.oooh.. will i perform well in front of the students? will i be able to respond to students' questions and remarks? the heart beats faster each time i think of these.. =S
please pray for me so that i'll be doing fine and sail through the praktikum period with fine weather and smooth sailing..hoho.

ya Rabb, i believe that You have planned something of my benefit by assigning me to that school.may everything that occurs during the praktikum be useful and meaningful both for my life and my Deen..amin..

**few things to be done**
~> a teacher name tag is a must. erm, should it be 'nor farina' or 'farina asiah'? which do you think sounds better?
~>diving into the bunch of notes on classroom management..pedagogical and philosophical aspect of teaching as well as on the language content-grammar.writing.reading.etc.etc as to get myself prepared for the battle (haha)..

p/s- i'm looking forward to experiencing the teaching process in a real classroom yet the butterflies are surely dancing in my stomach as the days approach nearer.nervous is the word.oh~